Decree absolute. Help!

(4 Posts)
Ambermih Fri 07-Oct-16 04:21:13

Hi
I have been going through the divorce process for just over 2 years now. This is my second marriage and I have 2 dependent children from my 1st marriage who live with me.
I filed for divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour well over a year ago. My husband would not engage with the process at all initially and I had to serve the petition to him at his home address. The nisi has been granted sometime ago.
We are at the stage where we are awaiting a pensions report following a pension sharing order made by the court. I have remained in the family home which was mine before we married. He has not contributed a penny towards the mortgage or anything else for that matter and has refused to allow arrangements to be made to lower the astronomical mortgage payments whilst the finances are sorted - even though the bank were happy to allow this. We have struggled financially.
My solicitor says this is now all about the pensions and the property. He has substantial pension funds compared to me.
He has a new partner and is now suddenly desperate for a decree absolute. My solicit advised me not to apply until financial matters are settled (there is a hearing set for January 17) however my husband has applied to the court for a decree absolute and says he will claim costs of 600 from me. The hearing is set for Wednesday. My solicitor advices me to oppose but this is going to cost me so much money (which I don't have) and I might even be lumbered with paying his costs too.
If I go to court to oppose what are the chances of him getting it? And I will be in an even worse position (if that is possible!).
How does the system work can the application be denied if I oppose I just can't afford to ask my solicitor these question - shall I just let it happen?? And the DA be issued.
So exhausted with the process and the financial worries. Please help.

MrsBertBibby Fri 07-Oct-16 10:04:41

The main risk is that you would lose death benefits from his pensions if he were to die before finances were concluded.

You could ask him to undertake to nominate you for those benefits, and keep you so nominated, until the finances are resolved, as a condition of letting the DA go. If he doesn't bite, that may give some protection against costs orders.

roundandround4x4 Fri 07-Oct-16 15:42:47

I would definitely oppose the Absolute, if he has a pension then it is highly unlikely that a judge would allow the Absolute, your solicitor will also put an order in for your costs.

Jr567673 Tue 29-Nov-16 13:55:46

As I understood the only way the absolute will be granted to him is if there was a risk of you going bankrupt which would affect him or another drastic circumstance which would have a massive affect on the finances. The only thing the absolute is stopping either of you doing is remarrying so there's no harm in waiting for finances to be organised. I would oppose and claim your costs from him for being such an idiot through out the entire thing!

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