Hi. I'm a new member to the site and wondered if anyone had any experience of or could advise on the following situation. I left my husband in May this year after he threatened me with throwing my stuff out and forcing me to leave the family home. I decided to take my stuff and the children's things (they're 6 and 9) and go and stay with my Mum as I was scared of what would happen if I decided to stay with my Ex. I started divorce proceedings which he is contesting, I tried to get the children to see him and he instead used it as a chance to argue with me and emotionally blackmail them - they have stopped wanting to see him. He is taking me to court for child arrangements and we've had a fact finding hearing - the court found in my favour and as FACT that he had emotionally abused me, used coercive control and physical intimidation against me and to a lesser extent our children. I have tried every which way since May to get a home sorted for me and the children as living squished in at my Mum's with her and her fella is becoming untenable and putting a lot of strain on all our relationships. Im actually becoming pretty depressed at being unable to sort out any kind of housing and for having to go through so many court proceedings as my Ex is incapable of sitting down and discussing things rationally and putting the needs of the children first. After nearly 5 months of separation would I have any right whatsoever to return me and the children to the family home (joint mortgage and payments are up to date) and request that he leaves and rents somewhere locally. He is away for work a lot and hardly uses the house. The children really need to be back near their schools, friends and family and to have separate bedrooms again as sharing is causing major upsets. If it was just for me I wouldn't even bother fighting for the house but it affects the children too and I just cannot see how the logical solution isn't to let the children (and me) have their home back and for him to let me contribute financially to providing that for them whilst he finds smaller, less expensive accommodation nearby and then tries to rebuild his relationship with them slowly and carefully instead of forcing me through court to force them to see him when they don't want to as yet. Really confused and depressed about my options and rights and how to go about getting the children their home back. Any advice greatly appreciated. Thank You. ps. I've had 15+ years of him emotionally abusing me and convincing me I have no rights should I ever dare leave him so finding it hard to stand up to him and convince myself I do have a right to a home for the children.
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