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Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Divorce/separation

"They don't cost you much more"

10 replies

debbs77 · 29/08/2016 16:34

Quote from my ex fiance when discussing money he owes me for nursery fees.

He owes me his half of fees amounting to £182. I asked the other day if he could provide me with a date he can pay it. It was his idea for them to go to nursery, his suggestion for them to go for more hours and his proposal to pay half.

Now he says he doesn't want them at nursery so if I want them to go I need to pay it.

So if they don't go, I can't work during the day (evenings only. I'm self employed so can work any time but that isn't the point), yet I am still expected to pay for everything, because he can't afford to pay and because "they don't cost you much more than if they weren't there anyway".

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VioletBam · 30/08/2016 12:58

Does he work? If not....then make him look after them while you work.

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debbs77 · 30/08/2016 14:54

Nope, and now lives too far away and doesn't have space as he lives at his mums x

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VioletBam · 30/08/2016 15:11

Don't you qualify for help from tax credits for childcare? If you're single and he's not helping I mean...it seems very wrong!

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debbs77 · 30/08/2016 15:31

I do get some childcare paid for. But not much. He doesn't pay a single penny or buy anything for them such as clothes or nappies

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VioletBam · 30/08/2016 16:09

What a dick. Here's the thing though. If he's not paying and you can't afford it, you will need to start working in the evenings instead. :(

How old are they?

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debbs77 · 30/08/2016 16:46

12, 10, 9, 7, 3 and 2. I don't have child care. I already do my own business and two MLM businesses in the evenings

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debbs77 · 30/08/2016 16:46

I can afford the kids. Just think it's out of order to not pay towards them too

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debbs77 · 30/08/2016 16:56

I can afford to send them. But he agreed to paying half when they started and it was his idea for nursery in the first place

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VioletBam · 31/08/2016 11:08

Sadly it doesn't matter whose idea it was. If he's not got the money then he hasn't got the money. Are you getting ANY support from him at all? It's so bad that people can get away with this!

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debbs77 · 31/08/2016 12:19

I get nothing. Literally, he doesn't even buy a nappy or a pint of milk.

It's more the principle. He refuses to get a job as he owns his own business and expects it to miraculously succeed overnight. He was doing brilliantly at it when I met him, but as I did better in my work, he got lazy. Now he lives day to day