Can stbxh come and go as he pleases

(18 Posts)
Blushingm Tue 23-Aug-16 09:14:37

We own the property jointly

While I was out he came and took everything he said was his - inc crockery we were given when we moved in etc. He didn't say he was coming over. He said he'd collected everything.

I changed the lock as I didn't trust him not to come in while I was out or bring his parents around while I was out - I didn't want them in my home and I don't trust them.

Is he allowed access whenever he wants? He's demanding a new key but I don't want him coming in whenever he wants and especially when I'm not there

microscope Tue 23-Aug-16 09:21:18

It's not just your home though is it - how would you feel if he changed the locks? You need legal advice asap. Do you have kids?

Fourormore Tue 23-Aug-16 09:31:55

If the property is jointly owned then he is entitled to access the house, you can't just change the locks.

Blushingm Tue 23-Aug-16 09:38:39

We have 2 DC - 14 & 10

He no longer lives here and none of his belongings are here

FV45 Tue 23-Aug-16 10:28:41

He has as much right to be there as you do.
As to what he can remove from the property, depends on what agreement, if any, you have.

Allalonenow Tue 23-Aug-16 11:00:24

There are conventions about who gets what when divorcing, your solicitor should have dealt with it for you, or given you advice.
Wherever the children will live should keep the household basics for their life.
Gifts remain the property of the receiver, gifts to the couple jointly go to the person closest to the giver, eg teaset from his aunt goes to him.
Things you have bought jointly are negotiated between the two of you.

Make a list of everything he has taken that you consider to be yours or jointly owned and speak to your solicitor about it.

If you have no access to where he lives, like you I would be reluctant to give him access to my home. What does your solicitor say?

Blushingm Tue 23-Aug-16 13:25:55

He lives with his parents - I have zero access, even when we were together I was not welcome at their house, not even to knock on the door to collect the DC

There is no agreement in place - you're right it is something that I need to get done

He bought a tv with money his father gave him - was told not to spend anything on me. I have a feeling his parents have told him to go and get it.

Blushingm Tue 23-Aug-16 13:26:16

He lives with his parents - I have zero access, even when we were together I was not welcome at their house, not even to knock on the door to collect the DC

There is no agreement in place - you're right it is something that I need to get done

He bought a tv with money his father gave him - was told not to spend anything on me. I have a feeling his parents have told him to go and get it.

Disappointednomore Wed 24-Aug-16 00:24:48

I'm not so sure he's entitled to access the property. The solicitor I consulted said I was entitled to my privacy. Against that advice and that of the people here however I continued to allow my H access to my DD here. No longer however - I am either going to get his keys back or change the locks and I think we do have a right to our privacy

NNChangeAgain Wed 24-Aug-16 00:29:26

I was told that while I had to facilitate my ex's access to the house, I was also entitled to privacy, as he had moved out.

Legally, I was perfectly entitled to change the locks, as it was my (joint) house, just as he was entitled to force entry as it was his house, too.

I arranged for ex to come in on specific dates and times (agreed through solicitors). Both solicitors confirmed that this was acceptable.

Blushingm Wed 24-Aug-16 00:49:54

So I'm entitled to privacy and to know my belongings are safe?

That puts my mind a rest a little - knowing he could let himself in when ever - if I was Ho E or now - made me feel very vulnerable. I do think you're right I should get advice from a specialist solicitor

Blushingm Wed 24-Aug-16 00:50:43

Good on you disappointednomore

ladybird69 Wed 24-Aug-16 00:55:29

My ex had total access I came home one day and he'd stripped house bare! Even took toilet paper and milk. He'd come over and lock various animals in rooms where they would mess and rip carpet trying to get out. He'd drive past slowly all times of day and night. He left rubbish and junk but took my belongings even my childhood toys. He'd drive past and steal parcels from doorstep, light bonfires and leave them burning and leave taps running! Even after the divorce He superglued locks and padlocked his 'garage' so I couldn't access garden tools.
The police and courts didn't give a toss, I had no support from them, my ex thinks it so clever but one day he'll get pay back. And I'm free from this psycho thank god.
Good luck try and get one step ahead

Blushingm Wed 24-Aug-16 01:09:12

Ladybird that sounds horrendous! Thank god you're free!

Thank you!

CodyKing Wed 24-Aug-16 01:09:46

Read this - how long have you separated?

Blushingm Wed 24-Aug-16 03:49:37

Almost 6 weeks Cody, so not really that long sad

ladybird69 Wed 24-Aug-16 16:13:53

Yes Blushingm Tbh it was a godsend as I still loved him but not after that last behaviour, he was so cold and calculating while to outsiders playing the victim. It hurts like Hell at first but then the freedom is wonderful. Hope you have a quick and easy divorce and get a cunning solicitors.

FV45 Wed 24-Aug-16 16:15:48

I have learnt things from this thread, thank you.

God...I wish he'd leave though!!!

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