Totally ludicrous!

(14 Posts)
tic73 Sun 03-Jul-16 23:47:49

Presently going through divorce and moving away with children. Husband will also move to new area once house has sold. We have been amicable on access and he has said he will still travel down in the week to have them on the two nights agreed but has said until he has s new house he will be taking them to stay at hotels!
I don't think this is suitable for the children at all. I am trying to make the transition period as best I can what with new schools etc. we will be staying with my mum and she has agreed on the nights he has them he can stay at the house so they can still sleep in their beds.
My daughters are 5 and 10. The eldest is stating to develop and although she is very close to her daddy I don't think she would want to be sharing a room in random hotel rooms two nights a week until the house has sold.
Will this all be decided and agreed in the consent order where access is concerned. It's really stressing me out thinking about it all. I'm just so worried this will really effect them.

tic73 Sun 03-Jul-16 23:50:36

Sorry should have added that he wants to do this on mon-tues nights which are school nights.
Also at weekends as well if not staying with friends.

HeddaGarbled Mon 04-Jul-16 10:07:06

I can understand why he doesn't want to move in with your mum two nights a week. That's not really him "having them" is it? You have chosen to move away and it sounds like he's doing his best to accommodate that. No a hotel isn't ideal, but presumably it's a temporary measure forced on him by the move.

Fourormore Mon 04-Jul-16 10:22:40

If he was taking them on holiday they'd be sharing a hotel room presumably? This isn't much different to that.

It's a temporary thing. It isn't going to have any major negative effect on them. If things have been amicable up until now then I'd perhaps ask that he uses the same hotel so that the children are familiar with it but it's really not worth falling out over.

Minime85 Mon 04-Jul-16 17:00:01

I think it's hard to think of them staying in a hotel room I agree but it is temporary and not seeing their dad I think is worse. They can make it fun and adventure. I know school night and not ideal but holidays are coming and maybe by end of summer some alternative arrangements might be possible. I think that is lovely of your mum to offer too. But understand why he wouldn't want to. 10yr old can get changed in bathroom etc. I'd try to avoid falling out about it if you can.

PotteringAlong Mon 04-Jul-16 17:01:34

If you don't like it don't move. Stay in the area until the house is sold. His access = his decision.

Cabrinha Mon 04-Jul-16 22:40:20

Handled properly, the kids will find the hotel exciting and then normal.
At 10, your daughter should still be jumping into bed and cuddling with daddy! My 16 and 19yo stepdaughters do with their dad. If she wants privacy to change, she can do so in the bathroom. I think you're looking for a reason to object there.

It's a kind offer from your mum, but his plan is fine.

Why are you moving before the hosts is sold? Why not just stay put in the house? You don't want the children to have disruption - and that's the least disruptive option.

LPickers Tue 05-Jul-16 21:42:56

I can understand why you're not keen. Its not ideal but I suppose he's just making the best of a bad situation. If the children get homework for school make sure it gets done on days they're with you, not in the hotel. I would insist he always uses the same hotel for consistency / familiarity purposes. X

Fourormore Tue 05-Jul-16 22:00:00

If the children get homework for school make sure it gets done on days they're with you, not in the hotel.

What's wrong with doing homework in a hotel?

wheresthel1ght Sun 10-Jul-16 11:02:24

Sorry but I think you are being unreasonable.

You are the one moving away therefore he is making the effort and travelling to see his kids when presumably he still needs to be at work?

You really have 3 options as I see it

1) suck it up and agree to it - the kids will think it is amazing

2) don't move and divide them from their clearly loving father

3) you move to your parents and leave the children with him

Vickyyyy Mon 11-Jul-16 01:38:25

I honestly think the kids would find it exciting staying in hotels, I would have when I was that age.

PrimalLass Mon 11-Jul-16 08:20:07

Would t he be as well to rent somewhere for 6 months? Or find a holiday apartment through Airbnb?

user1468244777 Mon 11-Jul-16 15:05:41

Let me add, that if you don't take the above comments to your heart, then you are only causing yourself more problems, more headaches and are going to spend way too much money on lawyers. You start with demands, then he will have his as well. For sure there are things he doesn't agree with how you do things. People have different opinions of how to raise a child, but your way is not the only way.

Hellothereitsme Mon 11-Jul-16 16:30:15

I cant see a problem with what he suggests. Don't blame him for not wanting to stay at your mums - that really isn't on you know.

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