Maintenance and shared care.

(21 Posts)
dodobedoop Mon 02-May-16 09:26:39

Ex and I have shared care of DD, we each have her 7 nights out of 14. It's a flexible arrangement, and one that all three of us are happy with.

He doesn't pay any maintenance, he buys most of her clothes and we each pay half for trips, camps etc. I pay the childminder and school lunches.

He has no mortgage as house is owned, I pay rent as I chose to move out. When I saw the solicitor and discussed finances, he was surprised that ex doesn't pay maintenance.

Am I wrong in thinking that as we have shared care he doesn't have to?

lifeisunjust Mon 02-May-16 10:10:50

Who earns what? Who gets child benefit? Who gets tax credits? Have you added up costs each of you pays for the child? I think in a shared care arrangement these are all important and equal is tge ideal meaning one might pay tge other maintenance or costs might be shared differently to avoid tge maintenance.

Fourormore Mon 02-May-16 10:15:52

If you have 50/50 in terms of nights then you wouldn't be able to claim anything through the CMS.

anyoldname76 Mon 02-May-16 10:17:46

do you pay for childcare when shes with him?

dodobedoop Mon 02-May-16 10:56:08

I get the child benefit and tax credits, which equates to £150 per month for both. This goes towards the childcare costs.
Childcare is for the days we are both at work after school time, so necessary for us both.

We earn approx the same, although some of ex's earnings are made up
from his local government pension, he took flexible early retirement a few years ago.

Pisssssedofff Mon 02-May-16 14:18:44

If it's 3 nights a week you'd get the £40 per week minimum ... 3.5 nights a week nothing. You have to weigh up if it's worth all the shit is causes. It so isn't, sounds like you two have this Sussed.

lifeisunjust Mon 02-May-16 17:14:48

You don't have to use stupid CMS which is a national disgrace. You can use fairness or ask a court to award maintenance in the UK. CMS just encourages parents to fight and 9 times out of 10 the mother takes the major burden with the lower income.

It doesn't sound like either OP or father of child are paying significantly more, unless the child care not covered by the £150 a month CB and TCs is shouldered by the OP alone?? If correct, I couldn't see with same incomes, why either side would pay maintenance to the other.

Fourormore Mon 02-May-16 17:31:53

A court order is only valid for a year. Not sure how the CMS encourages parents to fight. It's resolved issues easily in my two cases.

lifeisunjust Mon 02-May-16 17:55:26

Why does it encourage parents to fight?
1) because the non resident parent (usually male) often hides income to be able to avoid paying for their penis results
2) because the minimum rates are pathetic
3) because so many parents just disappear and no effort is made to trace many of them

I am sure parents who've used it and the CSA could add even more reasons why it is a national disgrace.

My court order is valid for 5 years.

loveyoumummy Mon 02-May-16 21:14:03

As I understood it, maintenance can not be received if it isn't actual shared care. For example if you do have 50/50 nights, but daytime care isn't shared. For example if you provide more care during the day. I might be wrong.

Pisssssedofff Mon 02-May-16 22:40:35

How can he hide his income, I mean really they have to produce a p60 every year don't they ?

HeddaGarbled Tue 03-May-16 22:07:29

The lack of maintenance sounds right in the circumstances but what you need is half the equity in the house so that you can buy one too.

Kr1stina Wed 04-May-16 17:52:56

Yes, I don't understand why he gets to live mortgage free but you have to pay rent . The fact that you left has nothing to do with the division of assets .

He needs to take out a mortgage on the property to give you half of the value. How much is the house worth ?

FinallyHere Wed 04-May-16 20:39:04

As for the person saying how can you hide income, p60 gives it away only if you are employed.

Not everyone is employed like that. If you run the business you can pay yourself a mixture of salary and take the rest as dividends, or invest the surplus in the business. Even easier if you are a hairdresser or something where it is not unusual to pay in cash. Just for starters...

Pisssssedofff Wed 04-May-16 20:51:47

But he's not sooooo

dodobedoop Wed 04-May-16 21:23:18

Thanks all. To clarify, he isn't hiding his income. Although he is being less thank forthcoming re completing the financial forms.

Yes, I know that I am entitled to a share of the marriage assets.
These stand at approx £25000 in savings, and the house is worth about £110000.

The concern I have with that is, ex is older than me, he's early 60's. So he is going to be limited in his options re taking a mortgage out. My thoughts are to suggest that he gives me £20000 of the savings and release some equity from the house.

I need to do more research on this. But my concern is that he is living somewhere decent for DD to go to. I know I shouldn't allow emotion to come into it, but I want for it to be ok for everyone.

Pisssssedofff Thu 05-May-16 12:36:50

You could put a charge on the house so that the money comes to you when he dies ?

kittybiscuits Sat 14-May-16 08:02:49

They hide their income by going self employed and working cash in hand or diverting money. They also move in with women who already have children because for some pathetic reason this reduces their maintenance liability to their actual children. Etc etc

Pisssssedofff Sat 14-May-16 08:22:35

Court ordered maintaince is the way to go then

deVelvet Sat 14-May-16 08:24:52

DP has 50/50.
No money changes hands
On his weeks he pays all school/preschool fees. He buys separate school uniforms, all clothes shoes etc. And mum does same for her weeks.
Mum receives cb and tc for all three kids.

I thought that was normal?

Both DP and exw rent their homes.
Mum is remarried and DP & I live together with my dd (who sees her dad one overnight per week)

In your case OP I'd say that ex paying no maintenence is fair but you really need to sort something with the division of the house.

Berthatydfil Sat 14-May-16 08:37:35

I don't think you should be paying all the childcare, however as he doesn't work I guess he says he doesn't need it. And if you do week on week off I guess you need it for continuity.
Therefore can you change your arrangement to fixed days to say Monday, Tuesday Wednesday one week and Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday /Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday the following week so you can reduce the childcare bill.
I also agree it's unfair he should have all the savings and the house so this needs to be resolved more fairly.

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