Coping with separation anxiety

(2 Posts)
Deardinah Tue 29-Mar-16 21:42:49

My ex and i separated when our daughter was 3 weeks old. (He left, no reconciliation possible).
He has had contact with her from a very young age and had her overights twice a week since she was 12 months, she's now 18 months and the usual frustrations at this age are becoming more and more apparant. The tantrums have come as quite a suprise!
We are both happy in new relationships & I'm now 7 months pregnant and feeling 'very' emotional, recently my daughter has started to become very distressed and upset when her dad comes to collect her, i know its short term, he tells me she calms down very quickly, but the guilt and the upset is harrowing. I'm worried she will be 'scarred' and that things will get much worse when the new baby arrives.
She goes to nursery once a week and does not get upset to be left there, perhaps might have a tantrum when its time to leave!
On the days she is going to her dads, i start telling her early in the day she's going to stay with daddy and get her talking about the family members she will see while she is there, does anyone else have any advice to perhaps make this time a bit less upsetting for all involved? I dislike her father but don't show this, i try to get her excited when he arrives, get her waving at him out the window, she smiles and laughs when she sees him, but as soon as he's at the door she goes off.

Fourormore Wed 30-Mar-16 09:51:36

Children are very intuitive and it wouldn't be surprising if she was picking up on your dislike even if you're trying not to show it.

18 months is a typical age for separation anxiety anyway and moving between parents is always difficult. If she's settling quickly, I wouldn't worry about it too much. My children have both gone through phases of finding the transition harder and then okay again.

I hope it improves again soon - those cries can be truly heart wrenching.

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