Chance of having to pay maintenance for ex-DH??

(7 Posts)
wishicouldseethefuture Wed 24-Feb-16 17:31:34

My DH is self employed and not great with finances - part of the reason we are where we are. He has an outstanding tax liability - amount currently unknown - but no other debts I know about. I work part time on a pretty good wage, enough to live on. We have two children and I doubt he'd contest me having the children provided he had reasonable access.

Here's the question. If given his lacksadaisical attitude to paperwork/finances he puts down that he earns hardly anything would I need up having to pay him spousal maintenance. We rent privately and other than usual household goods etc no major assets to divide. We both have over a long time before retirement and neither has any substantive pensions either.

Does anyone have experience of what would happen in this situation?

coffeeisnectar Wed 24-Feb-16 17:35:37

No. Unless he's earning massively less than you and you have had a good career due to him shouldering the house and childcare then I doubt it.

My dps ex tried to get spousal maintenance from dp and she earns more than him. She tried to claim she needed the extra money to fund her lifestyle. The judge told her to up her hours and cut her spending.

DeoGratias Fri 26-Feb-16 08:00:52

Might do - I earned 10x my ex and one reason he got more than half our assets rather than 50./50 was I bought out on a clean break his desire for maintenance for life.

In adding your assets and debts his tax debt is a debt although it sounds like there are just about no assets to divide.

The spending argument is there in law stupidly and it annoys me. Just because my ex had say a holiday in the Caribbean in the summer and skiing with the children at Christmas paid for by me why does that entitle the fulll time working spouse (we both worked full time) to a future lifestyle of the same standard? Why can't they just go back to the lifestyle their own income brings them? Trouble is the law is on the side of the low paid on this. Even Paul McCarney had to pay his then wife a lump sum sufficient to keep her at the standard of living she had in the marriage even though the wife's earnings were more than enough to fund an ordinary life.

Fourormore Fri 26-Feb-16 08:07:40

Spousal maintenance is less common than it used to be. Deo's situation is unusual as she's such a high earner. I would doubt you'd have to pay him spousal maintenance unless you earned significantly more and his ability to earn had been restricted in some way.

DeoGratias Fri 26-Feb-16 13:58:09

And it is true that the courts prefer a clean break - just capital sums paid and that is psychologically better for both sides too and they also prefer limited time maintenance just until people get back on their feet or into full time work or cohabit etc so 5 years is more likely but the trouble is even if it's just a year or a nominal 1p unless the court order says no maintenance for the spouse at all then it's nto a clean break and someone can come back later wanting even more.

valL123 Thu 03-Mar-16 12:02:41

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

cherrycoconut Fri 04-Mar-16 10:47:26

OP I really feel for you. I can't even believe spousal maintenance is a thing, finding out about it has angered me so much! I'm starting divorce proceedings against my husband. He is an alcoholic, that until recently he managed to disguise as depression and anxiety, not working because of the pickle he has got himself into by drinking so I am working my bollocks off to support us both.

He could claim both poverty and ill health despite them being self inflicted and I could be legally bound to continue to support him. Even after the hurt, the lies and the betrayal he has already caused.

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