I want to move 17 mins away..

(15 Posts)
toopeoply Wed 20-Jan-16 04:51:57

But he says he will take legal action?

Can he do this if I plan to keep the children a the same school? We have a legal agreement in place which sorts out finances and visitation. He sees them every other weekend. He lives with his parents and they (him and 3 children) share 1 room. He has a 50% say in education matters but not where I live surely?

And if I did want to change the children's schools, am I likely to get a court order to achieve this even if he objects?

Bit of background..
Both our new partners are in same new town. The children are currently spending much time in new town and it is familiar to them. They attend clubs etc in new town too.
I'm the resident parent but we share pr.
They do not object to a move
They are in local clubs and making friends
He forced the sale of the house as he wanted capital, so obviously I have to move. Similar size of house but priced out of the market for old town.
Their grandparents still live in old town and they still have friends there. They will obv still visit
But in the interest of shorter commute etc good to send to new school.
He has been emotionally abusive and a bully. I have contacted women's aud and have evidence.
I am pregnant with my new partner (of 3 years) and keen to provide a stable family life for all.
He has moved 3 times in 3 years. They have lived with his parents for the last 18 months. In one room. The 3 yr old girl is forced to share a bed with her dad.
The contact arrangements for him (nrp) can stay the same as per our legal agreement.
I provide all the care, routine and structure. Inc all school stuff, homework, extra curricular activities. Everything.

So what do you think? Would a sheriff overrule him and let me change schools? Am in Scotland. Sorry about the essay!

toopeoply Wed 20-Jan-16 04:53:09

Forgot to add, divorce is currently in progress with the courts. I pursued as he wouldn't pay or go half's.

Glastokitty Wed 20-Jan-16 05:20:53

I'd tell him to get fucked, 17 mins away is nothing.

wallywobbles Wed 20-Jan-16 05:29:53

No of course he can't. He's fucking with you. Assume everything he is up to is fucking with you and be as hard as you can. I hope you've got a shit hot lawyer cos it sounds like you need one.

Aussiemum78 Wed 20-Jan-16 06:07:46

Nope. It doesn't interfere with his visits, he can't really object unless you move 4 hours away and he had 50:50 or something like that.

mummytime Wed 20-Jan-16 06:20:31

The worst a court would do is say you had to do more of the taking the DC to see him rather than share the travel. 17 mins is nothing.
As to changing schools, if the DC are happy and you are not expecting him to have to fork out for huge fees, then I can't see the court interfering.

Try to get some brief legal advice just to check, but it sounds more as though he's still trying to control you. No court will impose a blanket policy that parents cannot move at all after divorce - and after all he is forcing you to move.

toopeoply Wed 20-Jan-16 06:20:48

Thank you all. He's a bully and I'm panicking that some sheriff will change the custody arrangements and say they should live with him.

I know the interests of the children are paramount and although changing schools will be an upheaval, families do it all the time and I believe the benefits outweigh any cons. I just want to provide a stable and secure family home for them. And I'll support them in anyway I can to adjust to a new school.

mummytime Wed 20-Jan-16 06:30:42

Are you in the UK? If not then definitely do get some legal advice.

But you do need to stop being afraid of what he'll do and allowing him to have control over you.

toopeoply Wed 20-Jan-16 10:13:46

I wish i wasn't afraid. I am in the Scotland and I do have a solicitor but i don't think she is very dynamic. exh is more focused on controlling or hurting me than actually looking after the children. Or at least being open minded about discussing their future.

toopeoply Wed 20-Jan-16 10:14:14

the Scotland? think i was going to say the Uk!

mummytime Wed 20-Jan-16 12:40:00

He sounds pretty typical of a certain type.

I'm sure you will be fine.

If you're not happy with your solicitor do ask around for a recommendation for a better one. Having a SHL (shit hot lawyer) can make things much easier.

Minime85 Wed 20-Jan-16 17:42:09

I can't think why on earth anyone should have a problem with it. All sounds centre red around a new family life for children and stability.

All I can think is courts say have to meet him half way for access? My ex moved 30mins away and we have kept everything the same. He sounds like a bully.

VimFuego101 Wed 20-Jan-16 17:58:38

Unless you neglected to mention that your new home was 17 mins away but up an icy mountain surrounded by a moat filled with crocodiles, I don't see an issue. The school move might be a little trickier but the court will use common sense in terms of the fact you were priced out of your old town, the fact you're the one dealing with school dropoffs and the commute time.

toopeoply Thu 21-Jan-16 03:12:28

No crocodiles and I'd happily meet him half way. Hoping the courts support me on the schools. I tend to preemptively panic about these things. I imagine the worst and him being able to control me completely for my entire life.

CheerfulYank Thu 21-Jan-16 03:40:51

Tell him to fuck off!

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