That after 20 years of marriage, it is over.
I have never been best friends with my mil, but I have always been accommodating, polite and what I thought was a good daughter in law. I was the one who remembered their birthdays, arranged the gifts, even a surprize party one year. They do not live near us, so often they stay with us for a getaway for them, it was me that fetched, carried, cooked, cleaned and generally let them have a bloody 5 star holiday here. Sbtxh couldn't even tell you what date his own mothers birthday is as it always be me to arrange all that.
So what was her response to him telling her:
"Oh, well really, it was to be expected wasn't it"
WTAF.
Not once did she ask dh how I am, did the dc know, how are they about it. I didn't expect her to be gushing about us, but for fucks sakes, my life is crumbling around me, and that is all she can come out with.
My family also know, and they are reeling in shock at the news, we were the couple that everyone thought was rock solid, our friends are just as shocked.
I don't know why this has upset me as much as it has to be honest. I have told stbxh that she can fottfsof as far as I am concerned now. I think she is more upset by the fact that her weekends away to come to us are now not an option.
I just had to write this down, just to get off my chest really.
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Divorce/separation
So he told his family
isthismylifenow · 29/10/2015 06:31
I'm so sorry. That's really shit. I can imagine my mil would be equally unmoved in that situation. Some people are just like that no matter how much effort you put in.
It's not a reflection on you, although I know it must hurt 
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Did you hear her say that, or is that what he told you she said?
My ex family were initially very sympathetic when I left him as they knew only too well how awful his temper could be. Then a month or so later they suddenly all developed amnesia and decided I was making it all up 
No Throwing, I didn't hear her say it.
He only told me days later that he had phoned her, when I asked why he felt he couldn't tell me, he said because he knew what my reaction would be..... yes he got that one right for once
He told me the bit about "oh to be expected etc" and then he backtracked and said, 'Oh but she wasn't mean about it blah blah blah', trying to defend her.
Velvet you hit the nail on the head there.... she is such a know it all, so maybe it was a shock to her but she had to pretend it wasn't....
Urgh, I am a few days down from the initial post now, I was so upset that day, now I am angry... yet again.... It just feels how this is how it is all the time now, get hit with something, get upset and then process it and then I am angry. So either I am upset or angry all the time these days.
It doesn't do well for ones spirit, that I can tell you.
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