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Divorce/separation

Please help

4 replies

Bluesue26 · 05/10/2015 19:22

Sorry if this post starts to go off topic but I'm desperate for advice and I'm shaking with fear.

Been separated from H for over 2 years now. He left the marital home. We have 50/50 access to the children although I don't feel this is beneficial to the children with regards to school drop offs etc. My ex is a bully. To the point that his behaviour caused me to have a breakdown. I was threatened with him taking the children away from me on the grounds that I have depression. My children are my life. I have no support. We agreed that he would pay half the mortgage yet he constantly threatens not to pay. I work part time and claim tax credits. He works full time in a good job, benefits etc, and was recently able to buy a second home. His girlfriend also works full time is about to move in.

He is demanding half of the child benefit. I know that legally he is entitled to it but their earnings by far outweigh mine. I'm not asking for child maintenance, I never ask him for anything but he's trying to screw me over for £65. I don't believe this is about money, it's about power. I tried mediation in order to get him to leave me alone but it didn't work. This weekend it was my youngest childs christening. I wasn't allowed to go to the party afterwards because he arranged it at his new home despite me offering to have it in a neutral place and pay half. He's an extremely aggressive man. I can't go back to that dark place again. I won't. I just need some help. Please :(

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ImperialBlether · 05/10/2015 19:27

I wouldn't give him half the child benefit. Would he even be entitled to it on his wages?

You need a clean break divorce. It's no good him saying he'll pay towards the mortgage then threatening not to. You need to go to a solicitor and set the wheels in motion for a divorce, otherwise this will go on and on and ruin your life.

Once you are divorced he won't have the power over you that he has now.

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Bluesue26 · 06/10/2015 10:05

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I assumed everyone was entitled to child benefit? I really don't understand the need to control. He has a great job, new girlfriend who is lovely to our kids, he has 50/50 access to the kids, and the only money I ask for is his half towards the mortgage.

He took our youngest to the walk in centre the other day because she was poorly yet didn't bother to tell me. I had to find out from my eldest child. He has arranged a birthday party without consulting me about it despite me offering to go halves on everything. Can a solicitor stop him from doing this kind of stuff?

I've had enough. I've been too nice.

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Lonecatwithkitten · 06/10/2015 13:17

I agree with imperial you need to see a solicitor get advice, get a divorce and financial separate from him.
If he earns over 50K his entitlement to CB reduces at 60K you don't get any.
Birthday parties are tricky and often you alternate which parent has the child for their birthday, then party could be related to that.