I need to leave but don't know how

[WelshMama73]

After being unhappy for a good few years I have finally realised that I need to leave my husband. He is negative and sarcastic towards me and our children and I don't think I even love him anymore. I don't like him touching or kissing me. I feel sad and guilty because I know he loves me and I used to really love him but it's gone. My children are happy where we live and I would have to take them from their school and start new somewhere else, as this is not even my country that we are living in. I tried to leave once and my husband hinted that he would kill himself if I did so I stayed. I feel so trapped and sad and I don't know what to do.

[nursenicole83]

Well, I packed up my belongings I the middle of the night and took my boys to my mum and dads and stayed there til we got a rented property. Not sure this was the best way but he was a very angry/aggressive person and this felt the safest way.

Why don't you tell him you want to separate and see if you can come to an arrangement so that you can stay in the house with the children?

That way the children dont have to move house/school and would be better for them, less disruption?

[Bellemere]

I would see a solicitor before you do anything. Moving country isn't as straight forward as it sounds.

[WelshMama73]

I am thinking that leaving in the night would be my only chance of getting away as there is no way he will let me leave. This is a rented house in poland and if I leave I will go back to Britain. I can get a job there hopefully and support myself and the children, I can't do that here as my polish is just not good enough. I have our passports and was thinking I could just drive back there with some stuff. Could he stop me getting through?

[WelshMama73]

My children have British passports and we're born there

[Bellemere]

I don't know the law in Poland. How long have you lived there? It could potentially be classed as abduction if you left without your husbands permission.

[ImperialBlether]

Has your husband ever been violent towards you?

[WelshMama73]

Yes occasionally he is but it's usually more verbal and emotional abuse. He doesn't hit me but has strangled me before and will physically stop me leaving the room or house if he doesn't want me to. He doesn't seem to care if this goes on in front of the children either and will be mean to them just because he's angry with me.

[WelshMama73]

We have only been living in poland for a few months

[Bellemere]

You really need to get some advice, and fast. It sounds like you are at risk to me.

[nursenicole83]

sounds just like my ex, verbally and emotionally threatening so you feel you may be in danger if you tell him you are leaving. Its is mental torture so you stay, like Bellemere said, get some help and advice.

[DivorceAlchemist]

WelshMama73 the circumstances you describe are emotional abuse and strangling you in physical abuse. Perhaps your husband has some mental health issues but you cant stay in a situation like that. It isnt good for you or your children. Contact the embassy in Poland. They will be able to put you in touch with some legal advice.
Good luck