Please tell me what to do! To stay or not to stay in marital home

[fantasyworld]

My XH and I have separated in April. We have a 4 yr old DD. Up until we separated, we had been living in a one bedroom flat. Days after the separation, he offered to move out and stay with friends- I was relieved that I didn't have to ask him to leave, even though it later transpired that he thought he was just "giving me time" to think it through. In any case, he stayed living with these friends, but will have to leave within the next month or so. My XH took a mortgage on the one bed where I am still currently living with my daughter about eight years ago. He bought it in his name, and my name was added to the mortgage (but not the land deeds) when we married one year later. Two years after us moving into the property, he lost his job. He spent the following six years trying to get a business off the ground. Long story short, I have pretty much paid the mortgage sole-handedly (and the rest) for the last six years. When we separated, my first impulse was to move and rent somewhere. My thinking was the house is a one bed so we are outgrowing it anyway (though it does feel more spacious now he is not there); it has always felt like HIS house, and he always refers to it as such; he blows hot and cold about whether he actually wants to move back in here or not- sometimes accusing me of pontificating to him from a point of advantage, saying tearfully he needs his own space for his mental health, other times (like today) saying of course I have a right to stay. And, also, he needs a place to stay and where he can have our daughter without me worrying about dodgy flatmates etc.
After months of flat hunting, I have finally found somewhere nice, local and vaguely affordable. It is still a lot of money per month, but cheaper than other places. A bit further away from the school and out of the tight-knit community we have here, but still within a ten minute bus ride. He said he'll pay half the rent if I move, but I can't trust him when it comes to money.
My head is saying I should stay, my heart is saying f*ck it go for it and it will work out somehow. I feel like staying here is allowing him to have control over me. I just don't know what to do. Please help me make a decision!

[Darcy24]

Oh dear, I'm sure everyone will say you must see a solicitor. From reading your post, personally I would say stay. Once you know the house is yours, you can change decor etc so it doesn't feel so much his. I think being in a tight knit community is so important if you are on your own. Focussing on the positives that is a really good position you are in with the fact that he moved out. I tried to get my abusive H to move out for 6 months with solicitors and police involved and no result. Finally I have managed to move out with the children. But I would say speak to a solicitor and keep the house!!

[RandomMess]

Stay put, renting is so insecure and your dd needs a secure home close to school.

[thejanuarys]

You need to think of your children - stay put. Also you need to accrue the equity, and you need to show that you have paid the mortgage. Keep good accounts now - just in case. Everything negotiated now has to be done on paper and signed by both of you.
Don't be fooled that good intentions will be remembered at a later date, cos if this ever goes to court, (and don't underestimate this) you will be stuffed without proper paperwork to show agreements / situation.
Good luck