OK, firstly, I'm a chap, but on here anyway; just wondering if this is finally it. Just looking for another point of view.
The situation briefly: Appearance of nice house, nice place, healthy, happy, confident, bright young kids.
70 per cent of the time things are absolutely fine.
I think it's fair to say that we probably wouldn't be together if it wasn't for the wonderful children as our personalities and preferences have diverged over the years perhaps, but nonetheless, I'm all in on this marriage and want nothing more than to live in a happy family home.
Actual situation: My wife is often (3/4 months of the year say) really not wanting to be with me. Anything that goes wrong is my fault. She's all focussed on me being to blame.
I'm a decent, family man, decent job and money luckily enough (though sometimes away with work for 3/4 days at a time), silly, quirky sense of humour that she finds a bit daft, but educated, civilised, serious would-be intellectual when the mood takes me.
She's turned very insular and even paranoid of late. My attitude is always to be warm and open, and she won't even allow anyone around to the house.
Possibly because they'll make a mess. Her obsession with hygiene is a major problem; she cannot sit still if there's an old cup of milk in one of the kids' bedroom for example.
I like the place tidy, but have priorities.
I can't count the amount of times she's been, for example, inside ironing the kids' clothes when we've been out enjoying the sun or chatting to neighbours or whatever.
She's great at helping the kids out with school work, but as part of her saying a few inappropriate things in front of the children, recently claimed after I'd heartily congratulated our daughter on a super end-of-term report that it was all down to her (my wife) helping our girl over the year.
God, that was a new low.
She's been diagnosed and treated for mild depression in the past - in sickness and in health and all that - but this just feels like her being horrible and nasty to me.
I'm her only constant, loyal adult friend for decades. I encourage her to do as much as poss and relax and enjoy herself.
I think I might have had enough.
Its not nice to be not wanted.
Especially when I'm confident I'm decent fella just trying to enjoy what should be the prime of my family life.
Dunno. What does anyone think? My only priority is not to fuck the kids up. Does divorce/separation always fuck the kids up?
Any thoughts welcome...its obviously extremely difficult to get across the nuances and subtleties of the situation, but there we go.
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Divorce/separation
Is This What Divorce/Separation Feels Like?
21 replies
JandLandG · 05/08/2015 00:20
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