Late back to this, sorry.
Yes, 2sugarsandadog what you mention in your last post is similar to my situation too. I was working but the demands of my job meant I could be several hours from home on any given day - not a problem ordinarily as I had good registered childcare in place and managed (just) to squeeze my work commitments into those hours. Not so good when I was working and received a call saying Dc ill and had to be collected from school etc. The school weren't very understanding when I said I'd be there in 3 hours and childcare provider won't take an ill child of course. Work not understanding of my having to be at home with ill child for days either. Eventually I had no option but to resign. Bye bye hard fought for career, pension etc.
Ex unable to provide childcare for weeks on end as after separation he decided to take a post abroad, at 4x the salary he was happy to sit at while we were married (I worked during the marriage too). He comes back every couple of months to play with the children, take them on lovely holidays, and buy them lots of very expensive electronic gadgets.
Ex ran through all my savings with legal letters and hearings. I'm still in thousands of pounds of debt to my solicitor, and nowhere nearer a divorce than I was 2 years ago!
I can't sign on as I'm in a catch 22 situation. There are no jobs locally in my field, and others that I could do won't entertain me as I'm 'overqualified'. I'm happy to clean, scrub loos, anything but no luck just worry and poverty. Yes, so he pays the mortgage, but this is in self interest as when we do eventually divorce this will make him look very good and he'll obviously get a large percentage of the equity.
I'm not a person anymore, I'm just a housekeeper and childminder for a dickhead.