How best to tell him?

[thatsnotmynamereally]

I've been going over this scenario for ages, I've had the divorce papers back from the court for a few months. But he hasn't had anything...I'm too much of a coward! After a bad time last week, I called solicitor and he posted the papers to our house. But H is away from home... The envelope is on the table downstairs.

I'm driving myself crazy. I want to open the discussion re divorce (who knows, there is a tiny chance he will be relieved) but I keep thinking about the fact that some men go berserk and become violent when they see their control slipping. Lots of backstory but H is abusive, not violent but often threatening.

Any ideas what to do for the best?? I wish I could pay someone to tell him for me! Solicitor hasn't offered, is a letter through the post the normal way? I know they could be 'served' but I'm not sure if that would soften or worsen the impact. I could drive out to where H is (our 'weekend' home) but am in total turmoil at the moment. I want to leave town but need to be around for work.

I could, I suppose, just get rid of the letter! And remain in the status quo.

[Darcey2105]

Oh dear, sorry to hear the stress you are going through. What did you do in the end?

Do you mean the papers have come through and you are finally divorced? Or do you mean you are starting divorce proceedings and he doesn't know?

Could you just leave the letter for him and be out when he finds it?

I had a bit of a similar situation re telling my oh about divorce. In the end I phoned and told him when he was out the country