Separation and money worries

[Carlinamoon1]

New to the forum and new to this situation. My husband and I have been having problems for a while. We had been going to relate for the past 4 weeks and during this time his idea of trying to save the marriage was picking fights with me at every opportunity and going away to stay with a female friend for 5 days at a time when I was off work. He continued to pick fights while he was away but apologised for this when he returned. Anyway, I informed the Relate counsellor about this on Monday and when she asked him why he'd acted in this manner at a time when his marriage was at crisis point he simply sat there with a smug grin and shrugged. At that moment I had the 'snapping point' that I'd been told about. I realised I deserved so much better! So the decision was made to separate; I initially felt elated and relieved; knowing that you don't have to put up with someone who had made you miserable and belittled you for almost 19 years feels quite liberating!
Fast forward 4 days and I am off work with stress due to money. I spent yesterday trying to sort out my finances and things are worse than I thought. I have large credit card bills which basically mean that I can't afford to take on the mortgage alone even if he pays money for the girls (they are 16 and 15 and not interested in living with him or any form of co-parenting) I am so stressed by this and can't see a way forward. He has suggested that he stays in the house for a while longer (in the spare room) but this would be awful. I just wondered if anyone can help with this, has anyone else been in this situation? I'm so worried, I don't think we have enough equity in the house or that we'd have much chance of selling :(

[PurpleWithRed]

Have you taken into account all the assets of the marriage as well as all the debts? so pensions, savings, equity in the house as well as your credit card debts. And have you worked out how much maintenance he will be paying for the girls?

[Carlinamoon1]

Thanks for replying; no I haven't even considered pensions. We don't have any savings. The last time we had the house valued (around 9 months ago) it was apparently worth what we initially paid for it.

[Carlinamoon1]

We haven't agreed how much he's paying for the girls yet but when we discussed finances last night he didn't appear to have much left at all unless I pay the mortgage (which I can't afford to do)

[silkysilky2]

Hope you can sort things financially and maybe ask bank to freeze interest on mortgage for a year to buy you time .

It is finances that stopping me take jump to separate. Just scared of all the expense. So well done you, as far further forward than my own situation.