sharing household and child costs after separation

[Meanderer]

We have just separated (never been married, one child) and are taking turns being in the family home, each spending 3 nights away per week while our daughter (10) stays here full time. The plan is to continue this for around six months, then sell the house and divide assets etc (a whole other discussion) and she will then be living between two homes.

I'm self employed following a career change and earn a quarter (after on costs - tax NI pension expenses etc) of my ex's income. He works full time in a tough job, my job is part time but I am also completing studies and do the bulk of the household management as I work from home. I pick our daughter up every day from school and take her to clubs, make tea most days etc. Then go to my 'bolthole' 3 evenings a week for which I pay a very small amount of rent.

While this arrangement continues my ex as suggested we split household costs on a ratio falling between 50;50 (which he agrees would be unfair as he earns so much more) and a proportional split of 80% 20% reflecting our incomes, at somewhere around 65%/35%.
so for eg if our household costs (mortgage, bills, food, daughter costs) total £2000, I would pay £700, he would pay £1,300. My gross income is £833 pm while his is £3,333.

The reality of such a split at our current rate of spending is that all my net income would go into the household and I would have no money to spend - including food at my other home, toiletries etc unless I get more work OR we cut household costs further (so daughter would lose out on certain things) My ability to work more hours is limited because of health issues - I could do it but risk getting ill again after a long road to recovery - and this would also prevent me qualifying in my new career and further limit my long term income.

I don't expect him to support me but if the household costs are managed to ensure they are just that and not to benefit me then does the PROPORTION suggested seem reasonable? It's really important to us to stay amicable and I know he thinks he's being fair.

Your thoughts/examples welcome, thanks people :-)

[Viviennemary]

Well according to what I've read on here the maintenance for one child non residential is around 10% of the take home pay. Which isn't much in a lot of cases so in no way would cover household expenses. I hope things work out and somebody comes along with more advice. Do I understand you are maintaining three houses at the present time.

[Meanderer]

It's not maintenance I'm talking about though - we are 'sharing' the house on a sort of timeshare basis -so i suppose if we were flatmates the split would be 50:50 - but our daughter is in it and we are sharing her care - I am still mainly (not entirely) responsible for running the house for all three of us, apart from some (not all) of the food buying and prep on his 3 evenings with her. So I do unpaid work in running a home which he comes back to 3 nights a week and is shared at weekends. On the other hand, I work from home too so benefit from my 'office' being here. SO maybe it is fair? It's just not manageable for me.

[Viviennemary]

Could you post this somewhere that gets more replies such as Relationships, money or chat. I am sure there will be people to advise.