Hi all,
I have joined Mumsnet today as my girlfriend is in desperate need of advice.
Below is an email she has sent to a solicitor (she is having a free half hour consultation but we are unable to afford legal help after this). If anyone has been in a similar situation we would be extremely grateful for your advice. Many thanks.
"I divorced in 2008. My ex husband and I had a shared residency (informal) agreement concerning our children who are now aged 13 and 15, my eldest child has asperger syndrome. I never wanted the shared residency but at that time I was very depressed and agreed in order to end the lengthy divorce proceedings. It is fair to say this arrangement has been tough for the children. I am now being relocated an hour away from our home town and am moving house to live there in rented accommodation. My ex husband was emotionally/ sexually abusive and still intimidates me. He is very angry about my moving plans and demanded a 'proposal' concerning the children which I will forward, with 2 responses from him. He works in the private sector and earns a substantial salary, whilst I work part time as a probation officer and have debts. He owns the 4 bedroom house which we previously jointly owned and the maintenance he pays has not been reviewed since our divorce. He is strongly proposing to have the children living permanently with him and wants the child benefit for both children and the DLA I currently receive for my son. He intends to stop paying maintenance which was agreed within the divorce settlement. Both of my children do not, categorically, want to live with him permanently. Obviously I do not want this either, but would hope to support them in whatever decisions they make and how they would like to spend time with us both. If I lose the benefits, and to a lesser extent, the maintenance, this will impact on my entitlement to tax credits and possibly housing benefit to supplement my wages, and I will be unable to afford to rent a property with enough bedrooms to provide a home for my children. I am very frightened as my ex husband does not like to lose and seems to be intent on making it impossible for me to have my children with me, even on a shared residency basis. I also have a younger child (not his) aged 6. Her father has not had contact with her for two years and had a restraining order imposed by the police against him concerning me and my children due to harassment/ abuse. This is another reason I accepted the deployment away from here, as he has continued to breach this".
There are other factors which I am reluctant to mention as we suspect my partner's ex-husband may be monitoring this forum.
Thank you in advance to any kind soul who has any advice.
SL
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1 reply
moosehead53 · 25/11/2014 11:18
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