Time limit?

[Monny]

OK, deep breath. I am about to fill in the unreasonable behaviour section of the divorce forms where they ask for about half a dozen incidents. Is there any time limit on unreasonable behaviour?

Also, this might be a silly question, but I've pretty much stopped talking to my OH (he's quite emotionally abusive/Hoover manoeuvre and this is helping me to cope whilst I prepare my mind for divorce). Naturally he's quite cross and coming out with some 'interesting' threats such as he's going to sue me for tricking him in to marriage 12 years ago in order to get his money. Can I include the post not talking to him incidents as well as stuff from before I reached the point of enough is enough?

Thanks for reading and your help

[Monny]

I forgot to ask if I can include incidents towards our children?

[StopStalkingMe]

My solicitor advised me to give 'The first, the last, the worst and one for luck'! I put 6 reasons down on mine, just to make sure (though I had a list as long as my arm!). She said you have to 'blame him' for ruining the marriage. So you would put down the general trends of fuckwittery backed up with a few specific examples over the course of the marriage and how they made you feel. I would focus on the relationship between you and him, as that will be enough in the eyes of the court. Then you take them to a solicitor to get their opinion (I used a free half hour one for mine).

[Minime85]

I remember asking for similar advice myself. I was told and then read to use incidents in the 6 months before the date actually separated. I did complete mine on my own and I also put 6 down too, some generic some with specific dates/arguments/words exh used. My decree nisi was heard on Monday just gone

[WellWhoKnew]

STHXH cited six events, of which three were dated as occurring over a year before. Nobody even cared - the nisi was issued anyway.

I have even got The petitioner bought sex pills online which did not please the petitioner. Apparently him not pleasing himself is my fault. But then he's always blamed me for 'everything' so there you go!

I've been led to believe that basically the vast majority of judge's rubber stamp the divorce petition and don't really care who did what to whom.

It makes no different on the ancilliary relief (financial order) if you go down the court route.

[Monny]

Thanks all - you've really helped and sorry you have all had to go down the divorce route too. I can now fill in the form and at least apply for divorce! Am quite lost with the financial bits though

[WellWhoKnew]

Read Slater and Gordon Family Law Made Simple which explains loads. It's available on Kindle. Really helped me.

[Monny]

Thanks WWK, I shall see if I can get a hardcopy - I don't know if I should do anything with regard to finances now, or wait until the papers come back?

I know divorce is my only real option, but after 18 years (7 as a SAHM) I admit I am quite lost.

[astewart]

Most of my 6 reasons were from 2007, a couple recent. He disputed them all. Had to go to court where the judge told him he was very foolish and granted the divorce anyway. I was armed and ready to prove otherwise with police and social services reports but didn't need them in the end

[Greengrow]

Pick in the last 6 months. Any marriage in the country however happy you can find unreasonable behaviour grounds. Also nice people send a draft petition to the other side's lawyers and give the other party the chance to take bits out they don't like - we did that. He wanted a few taken out which was fine as it doesn't much matter what it says - it's not going to be posted on the internet.