Talk

Flip

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Divorce/separation

What now.....

6 replies

missmeldrew · 29/07/2014 12:53

Just taken a call from my solicitor, decree nisi was sent to court in June, ex disputed the divorce but failed to submit his answer to court, or so we though, solicitor has chased up decree nisi today and been told a hearing has been set for Thursday - this thursday! Apparently EX then emailed the court to change his mind and accepted the marriage was over but the judge has said no, and hearing still stands! Obviously EX didnt realise he would have to attend and so quickly back tracked. He wont turn up, this is what he does, wastes my time, same with a small claims I took him for, same hes taking me for residence of the kids. What a nightmare.
Does anyone know what I should expect? He defeding the reasons I gave for unreasonable behaviour, I can prove all these with police records.

OP posts:

Report

WellWhoKnew · 04/08/2014 02:18

Okay - have I understood it that he's contesting divorce?

I am not a solicitor but have learnt recently:

To contest divorce one would have to have extremely extraordinary reasons for this being granted - as no judge is of an opinion that they can force a person to remain in a marriage when clearly the act of filing divorce shows that in the mind of one person, they believe the marriage has irretrievable broken down.

Religion, or 'not wanting to divorce' is not sufficient.

So this hearing will be a formality - and it will be thrown out.

Your Ex will be expected to give his reasons for contesting. The judge will as you why you believe your marriage has broken down. The judge will order him not to contest the divorce but write 'I am not contesting the divorce but do not agree with the reasons given'.

Then you will continue with the divorce.

To contest a divorce is just general fuckwittery. It is designed to stress you out, and it will fail - but the judge has to check that he has changed his mind and is not doing so under duress.

I hope that sets your mind at rest.

Report

missmeldrew · 04/08/2014 08:07

Thanks. It wet really well. Judge called him foolish so he changed his mind, even ordered to pay costs

OP posts:

Report

WellWhoKnew · 04/08/2014 10:35

Good! It's very rare that costs are ordered, I've learnt. But it helps (not just the finances) but knowing you aren't going mad yourself or being unreasonable.

It's shit getting divorced though!

Report

missmeldrew · 04/08/2014 10:52

Tell me about it, Im tired of it all now. We have no assets to split. Ive taken him to small claims for my clothes and personal effects back, things Ive collected over the years, gifts from friends etc. He disputed, didnt turn up in court, awarded in my favour. Ive instructed bailiffs, now hes disputing that. Then hes decided to take me to the small claims for a pair of sunglasses and other ridiculous reasons and on top of that he wants "custody" of the kids, despite refusing to even pick them up when interim access was arranged.
Sick to death of empty threats and him trying to find out where I live. I have a new DP now and we just want to get on with our life. Im considering a non-molestation order as I type this.

OP posts:

Report

WellWhoKnew · 04/08/2014 11:52

Well, that's interesting. I'm in a rental, tenancy in my own name...but has ordered me to make myself homeless! He's really hung up with me staying in my home for some reason.

I've given him 14 days to recover his belongings, directly and even supplied a quote for a 'man with a van' so that he doesn't need to arrange it.

He has replied (via my solicitor) that I must make an inventory and weigh and state the condition of every single item.

He will not accept the 'man with a van' that I sorted because I will just give him one bag, and the order him back one bag at a time, to drive up his costs.

And that is what he wrote to my solicitor, who has already warned him that he is sending excessive emails and letters in a cynical attempt to drive up my costs.

I think I'll be dumping it in the charity shop - as is my right. He's said he's going to take me to court, apparently.

Were you named on the tenancy?

He's also threatened me with a non-molestation order because a letter from my solicitor sending him his bill (costs awarded - yey!) arrived the same day as my 'unreasonable demand' that he removes his belongings within fourteen days.

He felt harrassed, poor little lamb.

Gah!

Report

missmeldrew · 04/08/2014 12:07

I was named on the tenancy yes, however he was very clever, I went out one night and on my return he locked me out, I waited on the doorstep a couple of hrs then began to ring the house phone, he crept down stair and unplugged it! When i go in I was well pissed off, by now it was 3am, we exchanged "words" and i got in bed with my still sleeping daughter who was 5 and fell asleep. At 7am I heard the front door go, he'd left the house with our other children, gone to his mothers and rung the police, reporting DV!!! A few more false allegations to the police and I was removed from the tenancy. Id already left by the time they removed me anyway. Clever vindictive man, its all catching up with him now though. Im a true believer in karma.