As the petitioner, does anyone still feel angry and guilty about the end of the relationship

(10 Posts)
Discosista Tue 10-Jun-14 00:57:43

Anyone?

summerflower Fri 13-Jun-14 05:55:25

Yes, having done everything I could to make the marriage work, ending it was the last resort, not the position I wanted to be in.

RollerCola Tue 17-Jun-14 23:34:16

Yes, because when I got married and had children I never ever thought I would get divorced. It was ever meant to be like this. I did everything I could possibly think of to make it work but in the end it made me ill and separation was the only possible solution. I feel guilty about it very day but there was no alternative.

Minime85 Wed 18-Jun-14 06:14:38

Summer and roller same here

littlemissminime Fri 18-Jul-14 20:09:56

Me too. Ex has been an abs A-Hole and I could never forgive him for it, it's all still a horrible mess over a year later and I can't see an end to it.
I'm with someone else now however I constantly question did I make the rich descion. Divorce being complete is almost imminent, yet I can't help thinking how different things could have been. Is it normal this?

mum4firsttime Sat 19-Jul-14 08:52:46

I understand how you all feel as I am the same - considering filing papers now. I have done all I can to see if we can hold things together for our child for over a year (DH left home through all this period and had a live in affair with someone else). At the end of the day he doesn't want to be with me any more so ultimately i can't force someone and it won't make me or my child happy anyway after all the lies. I don't know about your individual situations but i keep reminding myself (hard though it is because I am still really angry) we only have one life and we all deserve happiness and if we are happy our kids will be too. So try and focus on moving forwards. Not sure that will help but that is what I am trying to do!!

Brightmoon Sat 19-Jul-14 09:16:32

My stbxh left me for 6 months then returned for 4 weeks (have since found out he'd never intended to stay and had seen a solicitor before he came back) Theres someone else although he wont admit it. We'd been together for 12 years in total and our ds is almost 2. I feel awful for our ds that he has to share his time between us. I never wanted a divorce and stood by him whilst he was living away from home. He ended things but I'm divorcing him as I feel I want the truth about his behaviour to be written down. But its for the best. Ive been told so many lies by him that I could never trust him again. A friend summed it up well the other day, I now have the opportunity to find someone who will treat me well and make me happy. Just because the future isn't what you expected doesn't mean that it won't be a happier one. Xxx

mum4firsttime Sat 19-Jul-14 16:20:12

Brightmoon - wow our situations are so similar. I share you pain and agree with your decision. Can't let people treat us that way and let's face it if we accept it they will think its ok. I too have the child sharing dilemma -DS is 3. That's the hardest part of this divorce for sure but we all need to hang in there xx

Vole3 Tue 22-Jul-14 06:23:06

Same situation here.
XH is getting remarried next week and whilst I tell myself that she's getting a real prize - a man who lied and cheated and put his 'needs' above his sons, it hurts to see them playing happy families.

I have been on my own now for 3 years, am either at work or with DS, and can't imagine ever being in a relationship again. Whilst that has some benefits, like not watching any of the World Cup grin, I do miss the companionship, being cared for, and just the general sharing / helping you have with a partner.

The stress of keeping all the plates spinning does mean I get snappy at times, but DS thinks I am the best mum in the world and that's what keeps me going.

mustbetimeforacreamtea Fri 25-Jul-14 20:26:18

Not so much angry as resigned. Like pp I went into my marriage fully expecting it to be for life and thinking I'd found a great guy. I cringe when I think of my speech at the wedding. Stbxh lied and cheated throughout, destroyed my finances and then moved on.

Do beat myself up about my complete failure to see him for what he was.

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