Divorce and financial settlement..............

(6 Posts)
flopseyR72 Tue 03-Jun-14 16:24:45

I was wondering if anyoneone could advise.

I had a short marriage to a man older than me. He has two teenage children. He refused to have children with me although I was so desperate. He was emotionally and verbally abusive to me throughout the realtionship (as pointed out by very kind ladies on mumsnet.Tx!)
Anyway he decided to emigrate to the states. We had a on and off arguements for ages. He said either choose between him or a baby and either move to states (although I didnt want to for work reasons) or get divorced. I didnt move so he is divorcing me. He hasnt spoken to me for weeks just sent papers throught the post and email. It is truly a horrible experience.

I have signed the divorce papers (in english law/terriotry). I dont want to be married to him as he treats me like my needs are nothing. Anyway I am now all upset because he wants to walk away giving me no money. My soliceter asked me what I want to do but of course any bit of advise she is charging lots and lots. I dont know whether to walk away. In my heart I feel betrayed and bitter towards my ex. He wasted possibly my last three years chance to have kids (im now 40). I looked after his kids and he wants to walk away as if nothing happened. In truth I think I want some retribution for his actions.

The thing is I am a professional I earned over �120K last year I dont have many assests 200K approx ( i save a lot of my money). He earns around 200K and has around 650K in house assests and around 100K in savings. However he has two kids in excludive boarding school. He kind of got me to agee to move out of our family home by letting the nanny move in with a idea that she could look after his kids when they were on holiday if I moved to the states. I didnt move to the states and now left renting a terrible studio flat by work. He owns the house in his name and some assets in USA and in Dubai.

Soliciter says husband wants to walk away for a clean break with no money settlement. I cant decide if I want the money, I am being greedy or just really want justice for what he has done.He nearlly destroyed my life, health and happiness. Left me childless. Now I feel old and bitter. Do you think I should wallk away or take him on.

Sorry for the rant I feel terrible.
Anyway I was wondering what people

Try and separate your anger for what you see as him depriving you of children and the financial question. It might not be too late for having your own DCs after all.

Is the quality of your life likely to be significant worse as a result of your divorce? If so, I would take him on personally. Doing it for revenge is not a good idea.

caroldecker Tue 03-Jun-14 20:35:26

After such a short marriage and no change to your circumastances, I would walk away

whatheseithakasmean Tue 03-Jun-14 20:37:59

I think after a short marriage, you would be unlikely to get enough to be able to have any material negative impact on him, so I don't think you would achieve anything worth the effort.

BranchingOut Tue 03-Jun-14 20:50:50

I think that you could ask for a settlement equivalent to the cost of three cycles of IVF, plus tests.

Call a London clinic and get them to send you through a quote.

Just a personal opinion, but I don't think that you should walk away with nothing when his assets are that significant.

What does your solicitor advise?

flopseyR72 Tue 03-Jun-14 22:06:58

Hi, sorry I posted twice by mistake. Thanks I like the idea of IVF but I doubt that will happen. That is what kind of makes me angry. I wish I had never married him as he never cared about me. Because he was a single father everything feels like it is all on his side, that no one has any interest in me, like I might want kids too. No one seems to care about me. Thats why I'm on here moaning.

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