So a long story...short version.
Married 14 years, separated 2.5. 4 children now 12,11, 9,7.
EA, PA, VA to me but also more to children. Extreme psych problems needing over a year of therapy for effects in children by rhe time we got to court evry one was doing well
Initial contact post separation with DC very damaging leading to skype only contact.
Sept 2013 absent parent applied to court for contact after 2 years of skype contact every Saturday except when absent parent unavailable:
directions:Supervised face to face...absent parent missed 2/3 of them, children unhappy.
Finding of fact found "denying and minimising abuse" had "little comprehension of the hurt and damage that behaviour caused others" and that the (grand) parents "had adjusted their testimony as they obviously want to love and support their child." Absent parent had already done a n abuse perp course. Residence order and listed for directions.
Directions: further increased contact to be supervised by parents (!!) and cafcass report.
Directions: Unsupervised contact
2 nd Cafcass report: children unhappy, do not want to progress to overnight, regular contact is OK but don't want more, feel like they are walking on eggshells and have to be careful around non resident parent. unhappy, behaviour is difficult at home. Non R Parent missed many contacts without notice. But recommend that "CHILDREN'S CONCERNS SHOULD NOT BE A BARRIER TO CONTACT PROGRESSING TO EVERY OTHER WEEKEND, HALF OF ALL SCHOOL HOLIDAYS AND TEA TIME DURING WEEK" effective now.
Directions listed for tomorrow
Children feel very vulnerable and exposed having shared some ofn their worries which both parents willsee in the report....why ask them if they make no difference? They are very grown up articulate pre teens. They understand what their parent does and their vulnerability.
If the outcome is always the same why go through the motions?
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Divorce/separation
Cafcass...just a joke?or effective at preventing harm?
foolonthehill · 24/04/2014 10:48
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