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Lone parent Christmas panic attacks!(5 Posts)
This is my first Christmas away from my EA ex. Previously he has always organised Christmas as he is very details-focused and I have ADD and have panic attacks about organising anything, especially under pressure. Which is not to say that I don't try - but my crap brain won't work in an organised way. It's hugely frustrating and quite difficult for people to understand - they think I should be able to just push myself through it. Unfortunately this makes me have mental blocks and palpitations (ffs) so I just do my best. He has given me a HUGE list of stuff he has got the DCs. I have got a Barbie set of two dolls each for the girls (5 and 6) and nothing so far for the boy (8). I feel inadequate and shit. I already feel bad that DS wants us both to be there on Christmas Day (can't do it, ex makes me feel mentally terrible every time I see him) and now I'm getting upset that I won't be able to give the kids a good Christmas due to lack of organisation and general crapness. I'm already hearing about how my ex is taking the kids all over the place, doing loads of things with them, and generally being Superdad (guess whether any of this happened before the split!). Feel like I'm falling apart today. On Friday I have to tell him at mediation that he needs to get his stuff out by the end of February. I'm dreading his reaction. It's not helping me sort out bloody Christmas either!
If anyone has any ideas for activities or food that are easy and cheap, but special, or any cheap but impressive (to kids!) present ideas, I'd be very grateful. Going shopping today.
I am so sorry that this didn't get a reply before you went shopping, and do very much hope that you managed to find some things that you like for the children.
What they will remember, in years to come, is the mum who loved and cared for them day in day out, and the special little touches that you put into place ....not the presents under the tree.
Can you do the magical things with them, like putting out the mince pie and carrot for Santa and the reindeer? or maybe hanging xhristmas tree chocolates on the tree after they have gone to bed, so they have that as a bit of magic too?
I am worried about being patronising ...and don't want to offend in any way, but have lists ever worked for you.
They are my salvation in life.
Every time a thought enters the head (assuming its relevant) write it on the list ....and the list then becomes your "go to" place for the things you need to tick off as being done.
And if you make out a shopping list and post it, then lots of people will be happy to come on and tell you what might be missing.
I don;t know if any of that is any actual help, but do hope you have a good christmas .......YOUR christmas...for the very first time.
(and you do know your ex is only flaunting money and treats as a power play, don't you? )
buy pizza bases and then get various toppings. mine love to make pizzas. or hotdogs?
hope you had some shopping success. hama beads go down a storm in our house. and anything arts and crafts. wilko and the range do loads of cheap bits like that
Thanks both! Those are great ideas I did ok - went round the pound shop grabbing stocking fillers and have got some stuff for Christmas Eve - onesies and a dvd and popcorn. As we are both using the house while his name is on the contract (he's been staying at weekends while I stay elsewhere) there has been a pile of presents steadily growing in the bedroom (kid not allowed up there). It's huge! It's a control thing with him though, definitely. I left scooters from my dad up there, set up upright and out of the way. He has folded them down, moved them to where they ARE in the way, and arranged them as though in a shop display!? Mediation at lunchtime today, I have to tell him he has two months to get his stuff out as the landlord has given us both notice (with intention to renew the lease for me and kids straight after). I'm actually scare of what his reaction will be
And HaveAFestive, the bit about it being MY Christmas made me a bit emotional!
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