Coping with Christmas and being seperated.

(11 Posts)
pinhill24 Fri 06-Dec-13 19:57:51

Have been seperated for 4 weeks and no sign of any reconciliation at this point - he says he doesn't love me and has left as he can't be around me. He is already making Xmas difficult with regards to the dc 3 and 5. Please tell me I am not the only one feeling lonely, angry and upset at the prospect of spending Xmas 'sharing' the child are.instead of enjoying the special time it actually is. I am so worried the children will be the ones missing out. Sorry if this is garbled so upset at the moment.

Minime85 Fri 06-Dec-13 20:21:19

I know how you are feeling re anger and hurt that you now have to share the DC and miss out on the things they are doing. I will never forget my dh for that. and he knows it.
I feel for you re arrangements. my circumstance sounds similar in terms of his reason for leaving which I can't think about too much as truly hurts. can u talk to him re Christmas? are you having to split the day? we are still having it together this yr with my family. I am I guess fortunate in that he is very amicable re children. thinking of you.

Minime85 Fri 06-Dec-13 20:26:32

sorry forgive not forget

IsThatTrue Fri 06-Dec-13 20:35:18

It's hard when you have to share your children over Christmas. I have been divorced 5 years and we do every other Christmas. So this year dd and ds1 go to their dads at 4pm Xhrustmas eve and come home at 10am Boxing Day. It's hard. The first year I may face drowned my sorrows a lot little. But he is their parent too so I'm sure he finds it equally as difficult.

It's obviously much harder while it's still raw.

Lonecatwithkitten Fri 06-Dec-13 22:24:20

I make Christmas the day I want it to be, last year that was the 1st Jan my sister and her family came over we had all saved our presents to each other and had roast ham. It was brilliant all the children loved having two Christmases.

pinhill24 Fri 06-Dec-13 23:59:00

Thank you for your kind words. I am struggling so much with this at the moment. We have agreed to spending Xmas day Xmas eve with his family altogether (I have a better relationship with my Inlaws than my oh at the moment) it's the run up. He is saying it's because he wants to take them off my hands but the reality of that is that he wants to give up an evening with them to go out with his mates and then he'll have the kids but at the house I am living in with them as he can have them where he is. I feel like not only does he want them to himself the whole run up but he also wants me to find somewhere else to go for three days so he can do that. It feels like it's all on me again. So confused. Sorry if this post is epic and doesn't make sense. Can't sleep.

pinhill24 Fri 06-Dec-13 23:59:51

cant have them not can

Minime85 Sat 07-Dec-13 07:59:39

how do the dcs feel about that? so u would have to leave for 3 days? that doesn't seem fair at all. its not your fault he has no where to have them and you shouldn't have to suffer because of it.

Morgause Sat 07-Dec-13 08:09:47

No way should you move out for 3 days. He'll have to make other arrangements. Selfish git.

pinhill24 Sun 08-Dec-13 08:31:06

I'm only just starting to realise that he is basically getting to have everything he wanted without any of the responsibility, I am planning on speaking to him and suggesting that if he does want to have the children for that extended period of time he needs to make arrangements to do so. I needed to be told it wasn't me being unreasonable because he always makes me think I am the one in the wrong.

Minime85 Mon 09-Dec-13 17:04:08

pinhill u aren't being unreasonable at all and yes I'm feeling that today about my dh having best of everything as he walks in in new trainers! not that I haven't got what I need but just irony if u knew back story.

anyway onwards and upwards. I'm going to beat this!

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