My husband and I are separated, but still live in the same house. It's not easy, I can't relax and also I think it's confusing for our children. They were told that we are separating in July, but nothing has changed. We do need to sell the house, which will probably happen after Christmas, but my husband earns enough to be able to rent somewhere now. Added to this, is the fact that I can see he frequently uses WhatsApp late at night and I hear the message notification going off on his phone too. He's obviously seeing someone or just getting emotional support from someone. But, it's late at night, so it's likely to be a female. This in itself doesn't bother me, as I have no feelings for him. He can do what he likes, but I don't want him here when he's doing it. He says he will rent somewhere , but he's worried about the house prices increasing all the time he's renting. It's a joke. He earns a fortune. I work part time for £7 per hour. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
I have a lot of sympathy for you. It is hell to share a house with some one once you have reached that stage.
I don't understand the psyche of guys who do this when they have moved on mentally and they have the means to move on physically, but they choose to stay on. My soon to be ExH did the same - paid for nothing, did nothing around the house, was cruising on dating websites whenever he was in the house. It held us back in the past and denied us the peace we needed to rebuild life for the kids. I think it was about continuing to exert control.
Unfortunately as collaborate says, there is no way to force someone out usually. Think about the long term and make plans for what you will do when he is gone. Take it day by day. It will come to an end eventually. Good luck.
Men who do this don't want to have to cook their own meals or wash their own pants. First, get legal advice on speeding up the divorce/house sale etc - you do not need his permission or his co-operation to start the process. Secondly (as it can take time to sell a house) make it clear that he's doing his own laundry and getting his own meals.
1. start to communicate via email only - easy to do - and have normal mode of contact, even if it slowly escalates to fairly aggressive mode - on both side. 2. start to behave somewhat strangely, invite male friends at night - ideally ones he knows, spend nights away 3. watch him go mad on emails, but ignore him with total silence 4. continue to provoke him until he starts to go mad, like accuses you of being a terrible example to kids, and so on 5. accuse him of harassment when he is provoked enough, written will do. get lawyers to ask him to stop writing to you. First make sure that he is used to it, so that this change is very sudden and unreasonable - but who will he be to judge this 6. he will email you, and once he does, go to police. You need a clear evidence that you asked him to stop writing. Once he receives the harassment warning letter from police, the rest is easy 7. continue to provoke him, but this time play his friend too, ideally smile in real life but not on paper 8. once he writes to you again, ideally so that he is charges, put on bail but for the good of the case unable to move back into the house 9. fight you conscience for rest of your life, but i am sure from your thread that it will be easy for you.