Practicalities of separating?

[alikat724]

Hi all, am wondering how people manage the practicalities of separating, if neither party is willing to leave the marital home? Preliminary legal advice indicates that leaving would compromise the financial settlement, so given that both of us will undoubtedly get the same advice and be completely determined to stay (and have ability and desire to buy the other out), what happens? Do we have to cohabit until we can seek a court's decision of some kind? Apparently anything binding is likely to be a long way down the line and I don't fancy spending a year or more in limbo! All advice greatly appreciated.

[TiredDog]

Are there children involved?

Presumably neither of you fancy the living together in limbo bit? In which case you need to agree a settlement ASAP in order to separate. I was divorced in 22 weeks with a consent order to sort finances. Took discussion, agreement and compromise but was worth it.

[alikat724]

Yes we have a 22 mo dd and he has a 15 yo ds from previous relationship. 22 weeks? Wow that is quick! What grounds did you cite?

[TiredDog]

Unreasonable behaviour . I missed out the inflammatory stuff about physical violence (strangling me ) and went for 'does not spend time with us as a family leaving me feeling alone' which apparently is safer!! The law is an ass....

I didn't give him any reason to defend his behaviour so removed the offensive basically

Finances. Discussed and agreed them. You cannot have a quick settlement if it means one of you 'winning' It has to be win/win for both or at least survive/survive. If you are both already jostling for best financial settlement I suspect you'll take it through the courts rather than settle.

I opted for fast and clean rather than fight for best It was a healthy result.

[alikat724]

Thank you TiredDog, that is very safe advice. As you say, remove the offensive... I hope I am wise enough to do the same, even if it means taking a financial hit!

[alikat724]

*sage not safe