Worthless

(6 Posts)
Whoaminow1 Thu 26-Sep-13 23:49:05

How awful is this husband left 7weeks ago, caught him sending a text to one of my oldest girlfreinds sending her an £8o present. Said he doesn't love her, but instead of sorry he just walked after 23 yrs leaving 11 15 and17yr old. Ow appeared in our lives 2 years ago after leaving her husband. She was Freinds with both of us but significantly went out with husband when 16. I found her a job and rented house as she was penniless- invited for Christmas etc. then I noted she rang him when she was depressed to go to pub rang him to help her buy car, chatted to him about money and his Buisness. I nicely told her to back off and told him it was disrespectful. Added to this I thought my husband was stressed and supported him when he went away racing classic cars, caring for kids working etc. amazingly the guy he races is this girls brother.so I've just found out the guy who he races with has left his partner at the same time - she is devistated, leaving his kids as well.while mine and a total of 5 kids lives are shit at the moment these to men send happy pictures to the children on their phones of themselves standing next to their cars.needless to say I haven't seen my old girlfreind. All very awkward as we live in a small community and our kids are Freinds.why why are people so utterly selfish, and is it common for men to have midlife crisis holding hands with their Freinds.

Roshbegosh Fri 27-Sep-13 20:42:22

Wasn't there a film like this once. Single white female? Sorry you have had this horrible experience but surely he has been a shit all of the 23 years, or has he? How nice to be able to just say to hell with everyone I'm putting myself first and breeze off without a care in the world. Amazing. Hope you will be strong OP.

Whoaminow1 Fri 27-Sep-13 22:51:04

I'm going to watch this film.Funnily enough no he hasn't always been as shit.we've been good mates,great sex. weve been through some tough life experiences together- years of IVF the early death of his Dad, his mum getting auztheimers,my dad getting auztheimers.Two years ago we lay in bed holding hands and he said,"why do so many people have problems in their relationships, I think that we are really lucky in our marriage! " God why didn't he talk and god why wouldn't he go to counselling. It all seems such a waste. Maybe some really poisonous people became to close to him,I was busy restarting my career and caring for him the workaholic and three gorgeous but demanding kids. Life sucks when you have been totally committed to some one and they almost seem to busy to end a 23 yr marriage- that's rejection. Yes I agree with someone who said- I've been unhappy for years is just a cop out. No sorry no real explanation no arguments. I'm watching to see is it my old freind or his old boyfriend.laughable really

Roshbegosh Fri 27-Sep-13 23:06:53

I bet he ends up regretting this. I hope so. It just doesn't add up that the strong relationship you had would fade away, but he must have been flattered and excited by the ex.

Whoaminow1 Fri 27-Sep-13 23:27:14

Yes flattered by the ex.on the grape vine I've heard she has been public ally putting me down ie spend too much money.she is v pretty blonde deep sexy voice. A bit of a victim, always telling my husband how hard her life is, how she is brilliant at saving when earning little money.she has been telling him about her depression, how she needs a break and needs to find a better career.looking back when I invited her around for supper she physically turned to chat and laugh with him, I felt like I didn't exists. Stupidly I thought our relationship was really strong. Classic case of husband mentally going down because of Business concerns and she obviously sucked him into some kind of texting relationship were he began to be close to her.they kept it behind my back. It almost feels worse than sex.its like she stole his love from me.
During all this time I've been building my career to take financial stress off my husband, do all child care and housework. I only work two and a half days a week but have a good job. what friend does that to another woman they have known all their lives.Maybe she just wanted what I had and charmed him. spent so many nights chatting to her at one in the morning when she was leaving her husband.both of their behaviour will change me for ever.
Strange she hasn't made contact, Freinds say she looks rough, I think she and husband are in denial and will end up together.

Whoaminow1 Fri 27-Sep-13 23:31:38

If I see her I really want to tell her to f....off away from me and my kids. Her children are my god children and they have know idea of their mothers involvement in the breakdown of my marriage. Her kids are Freinds with my kids,,,it's not going to end well

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