anger/sadness after relationship breakdown.

[emyjo79]

My partner and dad to my little one broke down last Christmas. Since then i have dated and so has he but there was always a 'should we, shouldnt we' situation re ?. getting back together. An emotional rollercoaster of fears and hope but it all culminated in him accusing me of something that i havent done and its all been horrible. This has sent me back onto an emotional rollercoaster and I feel awful. He has been a really manipulative idiot and i have let it bother me all over again. I feel stupid. How on earth will i get over these awful feelings of sadness, anger, hurt - its all so horrible and to make it worse he has taken my little boy on holiday and Im moving house...stress stress stress. Please someone tell me that this gets better!

[fizzymumofone]

Hi there, really sorry you are going through this. It really is so difficult. I really hope it does get better as me and husband are also in the process of separating (6 weeks ago) and like you have said, there are so many unpleasant emotions flying around. We also have one child and i am also now in process of moving house. I feel for you. I have been told by many who have gone through this that it does in fact get better.

If you have both been ambivalent about whether to get back together than it suggests there is still some investment you have in each other. Maybe neither of you are entirely willing to let go? Do you feel love for him still or is it that you are scared of being alone, facing an uncertain future? Have you two tried to go to relate to work through your feelings and make a decision? in what way is he being manipulative? Could it be his messed up way of protecting himself or not dealing with his own emotions? In the short term while your son is away, could you take the opportunity of seeing friends, getting some support? What were the issues in the relationship that caused it to besk down and do you think they can be worked through? All the feelings you have described are completely normal parts of the grieving process (i tell myself this daily!) and you ned to be gentle with yourself. feeling like that is totally exhausting i know, as im going through much the same. Sorry for all the questions.