Hi....any advice or help greatly appreciated please. My husband is saying the following re our finances (matters are with solicitors, and we have exchanged form Es).
He says that I never wanted nor asked about a pension so why should I be entitled to half of his sizeable pension now. I have never mentioned or asked about it because I knew it was there, and I just trusted and left him to deal with it. He has always dealt with all our finances.
He says that I never worked despite his insistence that I do something. This is just untrue. In fact, on the contrary, I used to say that he worked such long hours, if he could work locally and take a pay cut, I would also work, so we could spend more time together, and as a family. His long working hours contributed to the marriage breakdown.
He seems to be contradicting himself, he said that my 4x4 is now too big for me, and he has a VW polo which is sufficient for him and our children, and I should change my car. I would actually like to change it for something smaller anyway, but on the form E he wrote that his car is too small for use as a family car and he will need to change this!
He says that when we got married (20 yrs ago), I brought nothing to the marriage, and just moved in to his fully furnished flat, and this should count for something.
He is a very high earner, and IF I were to receive around 50% of our assets and his income as maintenance I would be able to live comfortably.
I am planning on setting up as an alternative therapist at home, (I have been training for the last couple of years), and he is saying that I should be seeking part time work elsewhere as well whilst I build my income. My solicitor advises that there is sufficient money already, and that I do not need to do that as he can afford for me not to. It is very confusing?
She says that I am clearly entitled to half of everything following a long term marriage, and sufficient finances, yet understandably he is fighting on every point. I don't know if she is just trying to 'keep her client happy'?
Any advice greatly appreciated please. I am not meaning to come across as money grabbing, I would just like to know where I stand and what I can expect. I gave up a career to be at home with the children, which was a choice we made jointly.
Sounds like bluster as he will be trying to avoid it going to court to keep his costs down. Don't rise to any of it. Get to court and he may well settle at the first hearing once he realises you're serious. Easier said than done though-my settlement is less than I would probably be entitled to as I can't afford to take it to court.
thanks for your reply. We have a court date for mid october at the moment, but I have told him I don't want it to go to court and want to settle out of court. I actually don't know if at the moment he is so angry he would rather spend the money on legal/court fees than give any to me?!
At what point will his (fee grabbing) lawyer start telling him this? I have spent approx £12k so far in legal fees and he has spent over £20k. Will that be taken into accout in the settlement (ie we split what there was and then take more or less according to whose legal bills were higher) or do we just split whatever is left?
We have a decree nisi and court dates for both the childcare and finances but he just isn't discussing properly or budging on anything.
Legal board might also be useful. Based on my (limited) experience, what you bring into the marriage decreases in importance as the marriage gets longer. That's a long marriage and the fact you moved into his flat is irrelevant.
The fact you never mentioned the pension is twaddle!
Total bluster reckon your solicitors right don't let him take you for a ride after 20 years as a partnership.