diy divorce - anybody done it?

(18 Posts)
familymediator123 Thu 08-Aug-13 15:40:51

YvyB. I am a specialist family solicitor and mediator. I think it is great that you and your husband have reached a settlement without the need for solicitors involvement. It will have saved you a huge amount of money. However, as stated above it is really important to have your agreement drafted into a legally binding document (financial consent order) to make sure that you do not leave anything important out and use the correct wording. The Court staff are not legally trained and so will not be able to give you advice re wording. To draft the Court Order alone should not cost very much (depending on how complicated it is). If you would like further advice please let me know and I can send you my email.
PS re children. Are you talking about Statement of Arrangements for Children. Thsi form only needs to be completed if you have children together or have treated each other's children as "your own" and would like to have continued contact with them. If this is not relevant then do not bother filling in the form. Again, in terms of the divorce petition if you do not have children together and you did not treat each other's children like your own then you do not need to complete the section relating to children.

YvyB Thu 01-Aug-13 23:02:48

Ooops, sorry. Didnt mean to repost. Silly touch screen!

YvyB Thu 01-Aug-13 23:01:59

Yes. I agree VBisme. I've done quite a lot of googling today and found the forms online plus some leaflets. The divorce looks very simple but I think it may well be worth getting a professional to draw up the consent order. I think I'll ring the court tomorrow and just get a step by step run through of exactly what the process requires. From what I've researched today I think I might even be able to get the forms from them too.

On another issue... if you have no children together do you have to fill in the children bit of the form? We have a child each but we don't have any legal responsibility for each others child and once the divorce is completed I think its very unlikely that there would be any contact. Neither of us have any right to see the others child as far as I can see. His child will be living with the mother in future and mine wouldnt want to see him anyway. As the children are not of the marriage do they have to be mentioned on the form?

YvyB Thu 01-Aug-13 22:55:49

Yes. I agree VBisme. I've done quite a lot of googling today and found the forms online plus some leaflets. The divorce looks very simple but I think it may well be worth getting a professional to draw up the consent order. I think I'll ring the court tomorrow and just get a step by step run through of exactly what the process requires. From what I've researched today I think I might even be able to get the forms from them too.

On another issue... if you have no children together do you have to fill in the children bit of the form? We have a child each but we don't have any legal responsibility for each others child and once the divorce is completed I think its very unlikely that there would be any contact. Neither of us have any right to see the others child as far as I can see. His child will be living with the mother in future and mine wouldnt want to see him anyway. As the children are not of the marriage do they have to be mentioned on the form?

VBisme Thu 01-Aug-13 19:05:42

What is important, given your circumstances is to ensure that your divorce is a "clean break", so that neither of you can come back in years to come wanting to review the split of assets.

YvyB Thu 01-Aug-13 16:16:39

He's got a couple of assets that technically I'd be entitled to claim on. I don't want them though. I just want a lump sum that will put me in the same position I would be in now had I never met him and wasted 4 years. He seems to be agreeable to this and I think it will mean I can have my divorce much sooner than if we wrangle over something I don't really want anyway. I've never set out to "profit" from being married. I just want it not to have cost me anything.

He's pragmatic. I'm pretty sure he values keeping costs down over and above a legal power struggle. I just want a divorce and to get on with my life.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

momb Thu 01-Aug-13 14:10:18

We DIY'd a divorce with children and finances. As long as you are in agreement and the judge deems that what you have agreed is reasonable then it will be fine.
The court officers were enormously helpful on the phone when I has an enquiry at one point about a matter of wording on the phone. if you and your ex have reached agreement then I'd recommend it.

Lonecatwithkitten Thu 01-Aug-13 14:06:44

Why does he not want to fill in Form E? Could there maybe an asset you don't know about which shifts the settlement? Just the fact that he seems so anxious to avoid this would worry me.

YvyB Thu 01-Aug-13 05:53:37

Thanks everyone. I think in my case he will be quite keen to avoid solicitors as the settlement I've offered (and he's agreed to) is quite generous in his favour and he wants to avoid having to make a full financial disclosure in a form E! Can't see the point of paying someone else to fill in forms I should be perfectly capable of completing myself.

Lonecatwithkitten Thu 01-Aug-13 00:16:31

DIY failed in my case, it can't with apathy and failure to act. Only a solicitor repeatedly firing hardcore letters at him achieved that.

MirandaWest Wed 31-Jul-13 21:57:27

XH and I are doing the divorce part ourselves although will involve a solicitor for the consent order part. We both went through the court forms together and he has sent them to the court. I've given him half the fees and I should get the forms soon.

We're both happy with the financial split but having seen that websites such as Wikivorce can take a long time plus need a lot of prodding I would prefer to pay a bit more to have a more personal service for the consent order. We do have DC but are both happy with access arrangements.

VBisme Wed 31-Jul-13 21:50:42

Yes, no issues at all, very simple as long as everything is civilised.

Selba Wed 31-Jul-13 21:47:47

yes with no problem whatsoever and absolutely NO involvement from lawyers/ legal fees. PM me if interested

YvyB Wed 31-Jul-13 21:27:38

Oooh. Didnt know about the co-op. I'll look in to that. Thanks!

Just marking my place as I hope to DIY divorce too.

My situation isn't the same as yours as we've lived separately for over 10 years and we have a child. He's 16 though so there won't be any quibbles over residency.

I read recently that the best DIY divorce pack is from The Co-Op as they offer over the phone advice. Does anyone have any experience of them or could recommend another?

Collaborate Wed 31-Jul-13 13:52:50

You'll need some advice for drafting the financial consent order. the judge doesn't do that for you.

YvyB Wed 31-Jul-13 11:56:37

I'm about to divorce my h. Should be fairly straightforward as no children and we have agreed a financial settlement. We won't even need to complete a form E as we are happy that the settlement is fair to both parties. It seems to me to be a case of simply downloading and completing the relevant forms from the government website and sending them off. Has anybody actually done it by themselves before? Any tips gratefully received!

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