When did you take your wedding ring off?

(49 Posts)
Noregrets78 Thu 16-May-13 11:45:40

I'm waiting for a date for decree nisi. After 4 months of battles he finally moved out 2 nights ago. I dont feel like I've escaped yet - I'm still constantly jumping at loud noises, terrified he'll just decide to move back in. I forget that I can change anything I like in the house now, without asing his permission, he doesn't live here any more.

Didn't think my wedding ring would come off as it's sat there for 10 years. Tried it today at work and it did! I feel really emotional now.

I'm torn - I love the idea of moving on with life, and this feels like a small step towards that. I'm worried that he'll see and have a go, or worse that DD (8) will see and start asking questions. I'm not sure if I'm a bit premature given he's only just moved out and we're not actually divorced yet.

What did you do?

Noregrets78 Sat 01-Jun-13 19:11:08

sandiy yep that's a good idea - new job, fresh start, not having to explain.
New undies excellent idea!

dotcotton Don't blame you, there's a lot of history in those rings. You can move on without pretending 25 years didn't happen. Mine are a mere 15 years old, but it's the entire of my adult life, I'll get rid of everything else but can't imagine selling the rings at the moment.

Buttonsbythesea Sat 01-Jun-13 19:19:21

Took mine off the day he left 6 years ago. Sold it along with engagement and eternity ring at the beginning of this year. Felt good to get rid and use the money for something else.

ticktocktammy Sun 02-Jun-13 20:44:38

well this is really about when did you emotionally let go and accept the end.. personally I don't know where the wedding ring is but I had the engagement ring made into a necklace. let me tell you ladies, thats one big shiny diamond and looks fab on!
I have kept many of the gifts I received from lovers. some of them are great things and years later I remember those men fondly too.

Snowflower01 Sun 09-Jun-13 23:05:54

Can't get mine off for love nor money.
Soap, oil, ice, everything. NOTHING works. Help !!!!!!!!!!!!
Googled, You Tubed etc etc.
And still on my finger.

DotCottonsHairnet Mon 10-Jun-13 07:27:19

Snowflower - a jeweller will be able to cut it off for you smile

MOSagain Tue 11-Jun-13 10:15:58

Mine's been on and off like my 'D'H's boxers with his other woman wink
I took mine off the first time last July when I found out about his adultery. We attempted reconciliation and I put it on in August on our wedding anniversary.
It then came off again after a row, then on then off. In January he bought me a beautiful eternity ring, something I'd wanted for years so I wore that in place of my wedding and engagement rings.

3 weeks ago I went to Peru on a charity event and left all my jewellery at home. Whilst away I realised I was happier being apart from him and my blood pressure was down and my stress headaches gone so its clear he has to go and have not put it back on. Unsure what to do with my rings which are probably worth a lot. Want to keep my engagement ring for DD but might sell the wedding ring and give him back the eternity ring in case he wants to sell it/give it to his next woman!

Took mine off today after an awful row last night, came home to find him and his things gone.

First time he has actually done what I've asked in a long while.

pilotbecky Thu 18-Jul-13 18:13:18

I didn't have much luck with wedding rings. When still married, we both lost ours and had to replace them. When we were going through difficulties, dh took his off for a few months which made me feel awful. I took mine off the minute he left the house; I like how it feels, and if I ever see a good-looking man, I waggle my finger in his face (metaphorically!).

I hope things work out for you No Regrets. flowers

Noregrets78 Thu 18-Jul-13 22:54:22

Thanks all I've enjoyed this thread. Ring still off... decree nisi today... all good progress. I still suspect he hasn't noticed it's not there, I'm sure he'd say something sarcastic if he spotted.

Rings still hanging on a chain with my jewellery. Shall sell them when the desire takes me.

Beccawoo Tue 03-Sep-13 13:49:59

Can't remember - couple of weeks after he walked out to live with his girlfriend? Hilariously, he thinks he has banned me from ever selling it or my engagement ring (which is worth a fair bit) because it should go to our daughter. I will keep it for her but it'll be interesting to see if when she's 18 she wants a meaningless engagement ring from the dad who left when she was 3 weeks old....

FreckledLeopard Tue 03-Sep-13 14:08:44

Mine came off after we'd rowed about the same issues for the millionth time and I knew then that separation was the only possibility. Took off rings and changed facebook status from 'married' to 'it's complicated', so that I wouldn't be tempted to try and brush things under the carpet.

Noregrets78 Tue 03-Sep-13 18:59:09

Blimey the facebook status hadn't thought of that! Probably a more significant declaration that it's all over than taking the ring off. I'll be 'properly' divorced any day now, might need to do a bit of editing of the friends list before I announce anything.

neontetra Tue 03-Sep-13 19:09:54

My exh wrote me a letter after we had "agreed" to split, requesting the return of my engagement ring, which, to be fair, had been his nan's. Took off my wedding ring then, and when he moved out he left me his too. Again, to be fair, I had paid for both! They were Argos' cheapest option, probably aimed at people pretending to be married or having sham marriages, and I sold them both at a car boot for twenty p each. Notwithstanding the poor quality, someone got a bargain, but it seemed fitting and symbolic to let them go for nothing, somehow.

killpeppa Thu 24-Oct-13 15:37:08

intheredcorner probably not a thread to giggle on, but you just made me do just that smile

tonight i will be taking them off for the last time.
Enough is enough.
Id put my gorgeous engagment ring on the other hand but it doesnt fit- damnit

Last week I chucked them at him but my son brought it too me when he found it a few days later. (19mths)

INeedSomeHelp Thu 24-Oct-13 15:49:18

I took both my rings off the day I asked him to move out
I gave him back my engagement ring as it was pretty much the only thing he paid for during our relationship. He went out the same day and sold it for £100.
He also changed his Facebook status to single that day before I'd had a chance to tell my family.

I sold my wedding ring a few months later as I needed the money for Christmas. Now that I think about it, I should have asked for his wedding ring back as it was paid for from money my parents gave me for the wedding.

All these things just reinforced that I had made the right decision to end it.

killpeppa Thu 24-Oct-13 15:55:22

Ineedsomehelp cheap little git!

INeedSomeHelp Thu 24-Oct-13 17:56:00

kilkpeppa Just one of the many reasons why it didn't work!

killpeppa Thu 24-Oct-13 18:48:12

well mine are now off and in a Jewett box.

tonight is the first night of forever thanks

Sasquatch75 Fri 25-Oct-13 23:51:12

I took mine off a few days before he moved out! He told me the night before we went on holiday that when we got back he was leaving sad Our DCs were so looking forward to our holiday that I felt I had no choice but to go. Just wore sunglasses all the time. Bastard.

BruthasTortoise Sun 27-Oct-13 22:18:37

If it makes you feel any better my DHs ex wife still occasionally posts pictures of her wedding ring on FB and tags the DC in. Ten years after the divorce and despite having been in a number of relationships since. So I think anything other than that is reasonable smile.

mineofuselessinformation Sun 27-Oct-13 22:27:45

It took me a while to take mine off, but then after we divorced I went to a second hand jewellers and bought myself what I call my 'divorce ring'. It's a cocktail style ring which I enjoy very much as when i wear it, it brings back the memory of finally being free of him. smile

whoselifeisitanyway Mon 28-Oct-13 08:56:38

It's partly sad and partly liberating to take it off. I was worried people would notice eg at work and I wasnt ready to tell the world we had split. No one asked as it happened as everyone is too polite probably!

casacastille Mon 28-Oct-13 09:25:06

I took mine off in a perfectly ordinary moment in the middle of an ordinary day - he wasn't even around. It hit me that I'd got over the raw pain of discovering his multiple layers of deceit, and I suddenly found him contemptible and repellent. And that was that.

I have still got it though. I'm not ready to sell it yet. When I do, I'll buy myself a lovely dress ring with the proceeds.

Tweetypie27 Tue 29-Oct-13 12:28:10

The day he left it didn't come off my hand the five years I was married. Thinking of weighing it in tomorrow as am skint lol

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