I think I have now read every scrap of paper written on the legal situation of unmarried couples in England (14 years too late).
May I please point out that I am from another Western European country where the legal situation for cohabiting couples is different and therefore assumed it would be similar here, just to justify the naive attitude I had when I entered this relationship.
P and I met though work 16 or so years ago. He told me he was divorced and after he pursued me for a long time I started dating him. He seemed to be Mr Perfect, quickly proposed to me (three times), I became pregnant and he convinced me to move to the UK to get married and have a family together. I gave up my quite well paid position as a Sales Director and moved to the UK. He immediately persuaded me to spend some of my maternity payout on a joint holiday, tried to stop me from having my own bank account (I insisted on that) and admitted that his divorce was not finalised and he had decided not to get married anyway.
He also bought a house which is in name only and made me undersign a legal document that stated I have no residential rights.
His behaviour towards me changed and he turned into an "abusive twunt". After I had spent my savings during the following 18 months or so he proposed I should work for his business and employed me formerly. (During these 18 months he did not financially support me other than providing a roof over my head and food).
However, the money he is paying me is spent on household costs, bills etc but I am not contributing to the mortgage. It is irrelevant, but I have worked out that by using my tax allowance he is saving quite a lot and would spend almost the same on his own costs if he paid the same amount that he pays me to himself, due to his high tax code.
After all costs are paid there is not much more than a pocket money amount left for my personal spending and there is a huge imbalance between his and my own life style. My conclusion is therefore that I am "cheap labour".
We have two DCs (school age). I would like to suggest to him to split up but because of the children I would find that irresponsible on my part, as I would be left with nothing, as I understand current legislation.
I have another thread on relationships and have had simply overwhelming support from what have to be the nicest people I have "met" over here.
I am posting here to see if anyone has any experience or has split up in similar circumstances? Are there any legal loopholes? Or will I just have to accept the fact that I have worked very hard the past 15 years, raised our children, looked after the family home, worked in P's business, did all family admin, made sure the DCs get into good schools, gave up my flourishing career etc - to be left with nothing?
Thank you all who took the time to read this. Advice desperately needed.
I am stuck!
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Unmarried Couples - Rights on Separation - None?
11 replies
Karenblixen · 15/05/2013 14:25
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