Quickie divorce for adultery

(18 Posts)
sandiy Sat 02-Mar-13 18:41:21

Okay I did nt realise but, if I want to divorce sbexh for adultery I need to do it within 6 months he left in November however ow is due to have his baby in may.Do I divorce him for adultery now even though I can t afford it or just leave it until I'm good and ready Complicated by the fact he pays no child maintence for the 3 children he has got and he left me with a ton of debt which I am paying off alone in return for keeping the house.Any thoughts?

CardinalRichelieu Sat 02-Mar-13 18:45:32

I believe the limit is 6months after you became aware of the adultery so may be best to get moving. Perhaps you could go for unreasonable behaviour instead if not ready now?

sandiy Sat 02-Mar-13 18:53:55

I did nt know about ow until Christmas time lovely friends investigated was a bit of a shock actually but explained a lot do you think that's okay for the 6 month thing.Ialso know ex wants to marry ow poor cow ASAP.I almost feel like I should hold out to protect her she is very young and immature once the baby comes she will have more of an idea of what she let herself in for right now she's loved up and pregnant when the baby comes she will get what a selfish sod he is

CardinalRichelieu Sat 02-Mar-13 18:58:05

Well if you found out at Xmas that gives you till the end of June. It doesn't actually matter what you divorce him for, won't make any difference to settlement etc whether adultery or not

CardinalRichelieu Sat 02-Mar-13 19:00:00

Have you got a solicitor now? I am not a divorce lawyer but I believe you can divorce on ground of adultery, unreasonable behaviour, 2yrs separation with both parties consent or 5yrs separation if one party does not consent. Why do you particularly want to divorce him for adultery?

fuzzywuzzy Sat 02-Mar-13 19:03:01

Do you legally have the house in your name? Otherwise you could find ourself saddled with both the debt and giving over part of the equity in the former marital home.

Get legal advice first.

If he's going to be amicable about it and sign over his share of the property to you the you could file the court papers yourself.

I've know idea how but it can be done very cheaply. A friend at work did it.

sandiy Sat 02-Mar-13 19:23:43

I don t especially want to divorce for adultery.I thought you had to wait 2 years otherwise and I'm not sure that I want to wait that long.Essentially by September financially I will be in a much better position to take on the morgage alone right now I don t think they would give me one even though I'm paying alone at the moment.I did get a freebie appointment with a solicitor but it was more about expense rather than advice and as I've said at the moment I'm really poor.roll on September

CardinalRichelieu Sat 02-Mar-13 19:28:08

No, you can go for unreasonable behaviour. Basically anything will do - clash of personality, no longer happy etc. doesn't have to be crazy unreasonable

sandiy Sat 02-Mar-13 19:33:14

That is good news thank you I think I will leave it a bit longer then.Any one know how to go about getting the house signed over.He should nt want to make a fuss as he totally does nt want to be held responsible for the debts it's more than the equity.He claims to be having a gap year teehee so is only working supply so does not want to have any responsibilitys hence lack of maintence.

CardinalRichelieu Sat 02-Mar-13 19:34:37

I don't know about getting a house signed over, I'm afraid. In theory I would imagine its pretty straightforward, will just need a deed etc. you will need a solicitor but it shouldn't cost too much

fuzzywuzzy Sat 02-Mar-13 19:54:35

Getting the house signed over was done thro conveyance solicitors (in my case), you can have the house put under your name and keep the mortgage under joint names till your ready to take the mortgage on.

I'm sure there must be documents you can file yourself to change the names on the deeds of the house.

Could you speak to CAB?

Collaborate Sat 02-Mar-13 20:36:59

Sorry to have to correct everyone, but the 6 month rule only says that if you live with someone for 6 months following you last being made aware if adultery then you can't rely on adultery to get divorced. Provided you separated within 6 months of discovering the adultery (this is the most recent adultery - in the case of continuing adultery time runs from the most recent knowledge of sex occurring) then you can issue at any time after that.

CardinalRichelieu Sat 02-Mar-13 20:54:17

Thanks Collaborate - I am misinformed!

ProphetOfDoom Sat 02-Mar-13 21:05:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CremeEggThief Sat 02-Mar-13 21:18:32

Collaborate beat me to it! OP, I've only just filed on grounds of adultery in February, after finding out last June. And, I waited to do it until after STBXH's cheque to cover the divorce (£1100, which my solicitor asked him for upfront) cleared, as I was damned if I was going to pay for something that I had no control over and was all his fault. Obviously, that might not be an issue for you, OP, as you might want rid of him ASAP, but just so you know, you might not have to pay.

Get the CSA on to him too, as he shouldn't be allowed to wriggle out of not paying for his existing children. They have a right to financial support from their father. I believe it's 25% of his net salary for three children, but please check that figure with more knowledgeable people.

sandiy Sat 02-Mar-13 21:38:24

I ve finally done CSA last monday. He has nt spoken to me since.Before that it was only to ask me if I had sorted the divorce yet!
I told him no as I could nt afford it.I was nt aware that he would have to pay I will tell him on Tuesday when I see him next he will be furious.
It's not that I'm afraid of him tragically it's that I was conditioned over the course of our marriage (18 years ) not to upset him so I struggle to do anything that may cause him distress I recognise this now.Im sure part of the reason he's got such a young ow is so he can control her. I got more challenging as I got older.thanks everyone for all your advice.RL people would never believe half of what he's like a real charmer unfortunately.

ProphetOfDoom Sat 02-Mar-13 22:16:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mandz31 Wed 06-Mar-13 15:54:38

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