What's best for my daughters? Help...

[SSM421]

Hi everyone, first post ever, so please bear with me.. Apologies in advance if this becomes a bit long-winded. I just need a bit of guidance/encouragement/opinions regarding my situation as am beyond confused now. I'm going to start with a little background then onto my question.

After 5 years in a dispeakable marriage, I now want out and am most definitely sticking to my decision! The only good to come out of it are my 3 beautiful daughters. But now my constant worry is what steps to take from here in order to resettle them and see them happy again, especially my eldest who is 4. I guess she is my main concern, in her short life she has been through too much.

OH has made us leave home (not the first time this has happened, his house, he paid for it, so the kids & I have to leave). This happened before Xmas. I have been staying at my mums, even took DD1 into nursery from 6 miles away before holiday started. Problem is she hates the nursery. She's very intelligent for her age and she's the eldest in the class, so there's always been complaints of boredom, she's been bullied (no other word to describe it) since starting, I never even mentioned it until I realised its always the same 2 boys and that one spat in her face. Due to ill health her attendance has been poor - not just sniffles but severe croup, several viral infections, she's now on her 5th round of antibiotics since the beginning of October 2012! She's normally a very good, considerate child, very active and playful, very tied in to my emotions. But when I'm facing stressful times her behaviour becomes totally impossible, and boy can she last with her tantrums!! And to top it off I go back to work in a month and am desperately trying to figure out what to do re a home, schools, areas, childcare, etc.

Sorry for all information but felt it's necessary. Onto my question - should I pull her out of nursery? She starts reception in September, until then I thought we'd spend quality time together, maybe daycare/childminder with her sisters while I'm at work, maybe kumon, and other weekly activities, like ballet (which she was doing before we were made to leave home), etc. just help her be the happy baby she was before she witnessed all the mess of a unhappy marriage. My 2 year old is pretty distressed too but I'll save that for another post! Thank you so much for taking the time out to read this, please any advice will be much appreciated.

[Smugfearnleyshittingstool]

In your situation I think I'd be taking her out and enjoying quality time and reassuring her after all the change in her life. September will come round quickly and maybe she could attend the schools preschool for the last half term to make friends before she starts. Good luck

[SSM421]

Smugfearnleyshittingstool, thank you so much for your reply. It's helped me make my decision. Thanks :)

[olgaga]

Are you getting legal advice about the divorce and separation of the assets? Have a look here for some information and links.

Agree that you should take your daughter out. It sounds like she needs a lot of tlc at the moment, which is understandable!

[Tuppence2]

I'd definitely take her out of nursery and just enjoy some time together. Would it even be possible to spend time with her, 1 on 1? not all the time, just like 1 day every 2 weeks or something while her sisters are at daycare? Might be nice to her to have some mummy and me time, even if it's just watching films or going swimming or something?
Sounds like it would be good for both of you

[Tuppence2]

sorry, just noticed the date you posted... not trying to drag anything up
[muppet smiley] (