Any one of you has been so desparate about seing their children? How did you manage more access?
I see my children once a week for a few hours and alternate week-end. before seprarating I had given up my job to look after them. Now they are with their dad and I feel like I don't exist anymore. When they play, dad is mentioned all the time and mum is just not here. I have no idea how they are as I see them so little; when I notice a behavioural problem I can't do anything about it as I do see them so little. I have no involvement with school and I am more educated and able to support them through it than my ex. I feel so useless, erased from their life. Court hasn't solved anything and it's been nearly a year. They seem to think that it does not matter if mum is absent.
I am getting so frustrated and sad and i am considering not returning the children until a suitable arrangement is agreed. Is it completely foolish and is it going to get me into trouble? I feel so desperate!
Not returning them isn't really an option and acting unilaterally could prejudice your case. It would only be more upset for the children. The chances are the father would apply to court as an emergency to have them returned on the basis there sense of security and established bonds shouldn't be disrupted at least until a final court decision has been made.
Is there any specific reason you have no involvement with the school? If you have PR you can normally approach the school yourself, ask for reports and information about events to be sent to you and attend events, become involved with the board of governors or volunteer to help with some ex-curricular activities.
it is hardly giving out information a yes or no twice to a couple of very relevant questions - fine don't answer the questions but then don't be surprised when people on here can't give you advise as they can't second guess the situation, as people don't generally want to give duff info
then he is going to be classed as there main carer after this time and it will be hard to change things around, but you can push for more information and time with your dc
Have you sent in stamped addressed envelops to the school so that you can also have there reports sent home?
Send in enough sae so that the school can send you all the letters home?
Through mediation can you pus for one school pick up and one school morning drop of so you have some contact with the school?
as others have said - do not not take your d back to their father, this will be very tough on the dc and would make any other parent not trust the one that refused to take the dc back after a visit which will set you back as a parent to the dc and ultimately the dc will suffer.
Try and do as many positive things to get your life intwinded with your dc lives