Mumsnet Talk

All the best senoritapoojita!

Family mediation can work but you would still need advice from a solicitor.

I doubt if my DH going to agree to my request but his solicitors letter to me the one and only letter on the 1st of Dec has mentioned that he wants to go to a mediation on finance matters.
I have a clear view this year i am ready to face this "DIVORCE" and i am ready to let him go or move out of this family home while he carry on paying the mortgage and the bills and i speak to my solicitor to get my name on the land registry. Yes, i have accepted the reality. Christmas and New year was very good but it is a shame that it would not be the same in 2013.
I am stronger in mind than ever thanks to mumsnet!

Fantastic advice and support from far and beyond!
XXX

What an awful time you have had. You might find the information and links here helpful.

How did it all go belgianbun?

Senoritapoojita - have you considered family mediation? It can help really reduce the stress, animosity and tension and so very much cheaper than using solicitors throughout.

They handle all aspects - child arrangements, property and finances.

Also they don't tell you what to do - they let you both reach your own agreement.

You can find one close to you on this site -

http://www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk/find-service.php

and here - http://www.nfm.org.uk/

I'm sure there are more.

Good luck.

Do what you to stay sane. Keep things moving forward, it takes time but know what you want and make it happen

Well, i guess that would be me this time next year doing the arguing!
How much more of this pain should i endure????

Boxing Day went less well. We spent the evening arguing over money and child care arrangements. Dh has found somewhere to live in feb however we need to agree financial arrangements first. The reality of how on earthenim going to manage practically and financially without him reall hitting.

It's our wedding anniversary on sat - never expected to be here in just five

I am in the same boat too, STBXH told me he wants out in November and on 1st Dec i have received letters from his solicitors asking me to find my own solicitors. The sad thing is i love him and he loves me too but he wants out as he feels i have always made him feel uneased at all times. I am a stay home mum of 2 lovely boys aged 7 and 5. This christmas was the toughest that i ever encounted it feels like death is here and i can't do anything about it.
His grandfather has sent a card stating STBXH's name and the boys only. I felt genuinely ill reading it my H didn't even bother to put it away.

I asked him about our family friends why have they not sent any greeting cards this year and he's reply was that he had told them all, these are very very close family friends that we have over the past 8 years and he has told them all about our divorce which has not really surfaced properly.

Looks like there is no reconciliationat all, it's all over!

We exchanged presents as usual and dinner was very pleasant. I don't have any family in this country therefore, i am in a very sticky situation besides, H has accomodation provided to him since August this year closer to work place therefore, he only comes home on fridays and leaves on sunday night.
I still have not consulted any solicitors due to financial situations and not able to approach any citizens advice bureau as i feel like a"charity case" to off load my problems on other people's expenses.
Sooo, lonely and deeply hurt, my only wish is for this problems to all to have dissapeared when i awake again in the morning.

sad!

I'm waiting for a small flat I own to become vacant. Soon hopefully. The stress is a killer and dd1 is finding it very hard - nightmares, bed wetting etc. we haven't had the conversation with her yet...

I'm in the same boat. Dh and I decided to split in September. Hopefully he'll move out in feb assuming we can agree on finances. I have found the build up and anxiety much worse than the reality. We agreed on a Christmas truce for Christmas. We are not shouting and arguing all the time but there is a lot of sniping and tension. We've tried our bestbformthe kids (7,5,2). It's so bloody hard though!

Op- when do you think you will separate?

It hasn't been too bad actually - the girls have enjoyed it. I am pissed off that having drunk a bottle of champagne to himself he has decided to take MY car to the garage to buy fags. Cheeky bastard. A bottle of wine has appeared in the fridge too. Stbxh is alcoholic and hides his drinking normally but obviously as it is Xmas I get treated to the full shebang. The fizz was opened at 2pm so probably not over the limit if he hasn't had anything else but bloody rude not to even ask...

Good luck with your big move. I hate the thought that I will not spend every xmas with my girls for the rest of their childhood. They are so little still .

I hope you are getting through the day ok. It is tough trying to keep it together for the kids.

Three years on and I still cry for what should have been.

This is also my last Christmas in the house. It is also probably the last Christmas I will spend with my 4 boys for a while. I am moving back to the States in January after 24 years in England. Two of my DCs are going with me and two are staying behind. All because my exH thought the grass was greener elsewhere - it wasn't - and the only one left smiling is the OW, because she hasn't got to live with the fallout for the rest of her life - she walked away from the whole sordid mess without a backward glance.

Stay strong - or at least try to like me.

Thanks mumof4. I keep telling myself it is just one day but it is tough. It will also be our last Xmas as a family, our last in our house etc so more pressure to make it right for kids. would've been so much easier if the fecker had moved out when I asked him Good to hear there is light at the other end! Have a lovely day!

All the advice I can offer is 'grin and bear it' for the kids.

That's what I did three years ago when I found out on Christmas Eve my H was having an affair. I just got through it for the boys. I really don't know how but I did it.

It will be ok - just remember you are doing it for them. The kids won't know if it is not perfect and leave the STBXH to fend for himself. Have fun with the kids.

STBXH and I still share the family home with children. We have agreed, in a civil way (?), that we would have Xmas together just us this year. I know it means a lots to the kids but ...

How the hell do I do this? To top it off he is ill so I'll be doing everything tomorrow. I feel suck at the thought and just want to wake up on Boxing Day when I can escape to my family.

HELP!!!!