Do I end it and move on - or work at it some more?

(1 Post)
Scarey123 Tue 04-Dec-12 15:44:13

Hi all.

I feel so childish and immature asking for advice on this!

I have been with my boyfriend for just over 18 months. We both met because our DD's were good friends at school and we had both recently gone through long-term marriage break ups. So, we got together with the kids a few times and developed a friendship, which turned into more!

It was very intense as we were both still hurting from our previous break ups.

I had reservations about having a relationship with him from the start. He had been a lovely friend, and the sex was amazing!! But (without being too much of a snob), his standards were much lower than mine. He doesn't really care what he wears, he doesn't care really where he lives, he doesn't have 'nice' things (not necessarily expensive) and he drives around in an old banger of a car that is always dirty. He took me out to meet his friends a couple of times and firstly, I would never have normally gone to the type of pub he took me to and secondly, his friends were people I would not normally really be friends with. Just nothing in common! I sound so shallow :-(

But, we were very close and the intimacy was lovely.

As time went on, problems crept in with things. My 2DD's don't like him and didn't like him being around so I asked him to move out and I started spending much more time with my girls on their own.

My feelings of us wanting different things (and me thinking I wouldn't get what i want from life whilst being with him) got stronger so I ended it properly a week and a half ago. I didn't really feel like he cared for me that much - or would be willing to do things for me that other people had. Such as when I had a splitting headache - he wouldn't walk to the shop to get me tablets. Such a small thing I know..

But as soon as I ended it with him, I felt completely heartbroken. I cried solidly for hours, felt rubbish, could see no happy future and basically, couldn't hold back from getting in touch with him and meeting up. I met him last night and we discussed giving it another shot which he now thinks we are going to do. Problem is, there's still this nagging feeling that I don't want to - but I cant seem to let him go!!

Is this feeling Love? Should I stay with him and work on the things that bother me and try to compromise?

Thanks - honest answers welcome!

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