Should I be grateful?!

[Wrenner]

I know this may sound a strange post but I have just split up with my ex partner. My two closest friends have also split up with their partners too. One of my friends ex is a complete waste of space. He doesn't provide for her and her daughter, doesn't see her. My other friends ex is very controlling and sees his children only one afternoon a week. He doesn't pay much either and is more interested in stalking my friend.
With me my ex partner is fantastic with my children.. Can never see them enough. Pays me a really fair amount for them and is really supportive. I guess I feel I can't complain and should be grateful for what I have. Is this normal what I have? Are most men generally unsupportive financially and practically? Or are they very unlucky and I have what is normal? I just feel I shouldn't moan/complain although, as with them, I am still going through a breakup and need to vent. Just feel I can't?!

[Nurse30emma]

he sounds very amicable; but your feelings are your feelings and are just as valid regardless of whether your ex is reasonable or not. ((huggs)). I dont know what is normal ex behaviour my husband and me seperated 6 weeks ago and hes jeckyl and hyde lots of outbursts of anger hes really surprised me. everyone grieves differently or so I have read.

[olgaga]

Well it's early days. Where are you with regard to finance, housing etc? It's usually not the children, it's the need for money which turns most men into raving lunatics.

[Wrenner]

I need to move out as I can't afford to stay in the house as the mortgage too high etc he is being reasonable regarding that so far but he can be up and down but I think he's offering a good maintenance. He wasn't impressed at the idea of buying me out as I haven't contributed in his eyes?! Even though I've worked with both children and also have birth to his children and raise them 6 days/ nights a week.... Hardly any contribution at all hey?!

[Wrenner]

Eek also have decided to send Xmas day with ex and mutual friends.... Dread dread

[olgaga]

Is the house also in your name? That's important - especially as you aren't married. But there are other ways you can deal with it.

Will you both be able to pay rent as well as a mortgage?

[Wrenner]

Yes joint names. He's bought me out and we have a seperation agreement in place now. Just need to move out apply for schools etc xx

[olgaga]

Well I wouldn't ever say "most men" are awful after separation. In fact the figures show that it's only about 10% of separations which end up with acrimonious court hearings and contact disputes. It's very sad for the families concerned - such as your friend's.

You won't get a general overview here because most people who post their problems here are in that 10%!