Should I be grateful?!

(9 Posts)
Wrenner Sun 25-Nov-12 19:54:49

I know this may sound a strange post but I have just split up with my ex partner. My two closest friends have also split up with their partners too. One of my friends ex is a complete waste of space. He doesn't provide for her and her daughter, doesn't see her. My other friends ex is very controlling and sees his children only one afternoon a week. He doesn't pay much either and is more interested in stalking my friend.
With me my ex partner is fantastic with my children.. Can never see them enough. Pays me a really fair amount for them and is really supportive. I guess I feel I can't complain and should be grateful for what I have. Is this normal what I have? Are most men generally unsupportive financially and practically? Or are they very unlucky and I have what is normal? I just feel I shouldn't moan/complain although, as with them, I am still going through a breakup and need to vent. Just feel I can't?!

Nurse30emma Mon 26-Nov-12 20:52:09

he sounds very amicable; but your feelings are your feelings and are just as valid regardless of whether your ex is reasonable or not. ((huggs)). I dont know what is normal ex behaviour my husband and me seperated 6 weeks ago and hes jeckyl and hyde lots of outbursts of anger hes really surprised me. everyone grieves differently or so I have read.

sarah341 Tue 27-Nov-12 08:08:20

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

olgaga Tue 27-Nov-12 22:10:46

Well it's early days. Where are you with regard to finance, housing etc? It's usually not the children, it's the need for money which turns most men into raving lunatics.

Wrenner Fri 30-Nov-12 15:09:23

I need to move out as I can't afford to stay in the house as the mortgage too high etc he is being reasonable regarding that so far but he can be up and down but I think he's offering a good maintenance. He wasn't impressed at the idea of buying me out as I haven't contributed in his eyes?! Even though I've worked with both children and also have birth to his children and raise them 6 days/ nights a week.... Hardly any contribution at all hey?! wink

Wrenner Fri 30-Nov-12 15:19:19

Eek also have decided to send Xmas day with ex and mutual friends.... Dread dread

olgaga Fri 30-Nov-12 17:52:36

Is the house also in your name? That's important - especially as you aren't married. But there are other ways you can deal with it.

Will you both be able to pay rent as well as a mortgage?

Wrenner Fri 30-Nov-12 21:05:49

Yes joint names. He's bought me out and we have a seperation agreement in place now. Just need to move out apply for schools etc xx

olgaga Sat 01-Dec-12 12:09:26

Well I wouldn't ever say "most men" are awful after separation. In fact the figures show that it's only about 10% of separations which end up with acrimonious court hearings and contact disputes. It's very sad for the families concerned - such as your friend's.

You won't get a general overview here because most people who post their problems here are in that 10%!

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