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Separated from H 6 months ago and he has been paying me £1000 per month as maintenance towards our 3 DCs. Out of this comes our mortgage payment of about £700, so I effectively get £300 per month for everything else.

I'm being given various peoples' opinions and what I'm not sure about is whether he should also be paying anything further on top of this. It's not that I don't think he is paying me enough necessarily, just that I'd like to get a better idea of what I am entitled to.

We haven't gone down the solicitor route so far and I am not asking him for any spousal maintenance, but he has recently said he may have to reduce his payments to me. Don't know why. He earns in excess of £60K!

Thoughts welcome please.

Hi, if I've learnt one thing during my separation is that opinions are not important... You need to speak to a solicitor. With 3 kids I think your H needs to give 25% of his pay towards child maintenance and this depends on how many nights the kids stay at his as well. You may have a case for spousal maintenance but depends on so many factors only a solicitor can advise you. There are loads more people who can give you advice on here, also have a look at wikivorce, but please make an appointment with a solicitor ASAP! Good luck!

Just wanted to add that, assuming both your names are on the mortgage, your H would be foolish to let you default as this would look bad on his credit record as well but he is under no obligation to pay for a house he doesn't live in...the child maintenance he's paying includes money towards housing your kids

Hi MimieD. Thanks so much for this. I forgot to say that I already had an hour from a solicitor a while back who was really helpful, but yes I agree it depends on so many variables. I have to say, I'm pretty happy with the arrangement we have at present, but don't know where his latest comment re reducing payment has come from. Anyway, we'll see how things go and we may well decide to use a solicitor after all.

Thanks for your thoughts. Really helpful.

Glad I could help a bit. The last thing you want is to be dependent on the whims of your H. Threatening to lower payments is basically a way of keeping 'power' over you as they know very well that it causes enormous stress. Have you started divorce proceedings yet? You really need a formal financial arrangement so you know what to expect every month.

Surely he can't reduce your payments?

If he earns over £60k & has 3 children, he has to pay you that amount ...

I think that with the new csa amounts being taken from gross pay rather than net he should be giving you double that. Go to CSA.

Bear in mind that the new gross income calculation doesn't mean you'll be getting more, because the percentages have also been tweaked. They are still using the net income in the calculators because it is only a guide, and there isn't a huge amount of difference. The only reason they are now using gross income is because it is easier to check the declared income with HMRC.

I would be seeing a solicitor again - you need to get the divorce and finances sorted. You can get a guide as to what child maintenance he should be paying by using the calculator and making contact here:

www.cmoptions.org/

Is the house in his name or your joint names?

We have shared care of our children
At the moment I pay child maintenance as calculated by CSA.
Should I also be paying towards school uniform, school trips etc.?
What is legal position? And what do most parents do in practice?
Would really appreciate some advice on this?

quickbrownfox do you mean 50/50 care?

The CSA system wasn't set up for 50/50 care, it makes no sense that someone can have child an equal amount of time with equal costs and yet one has to pay maintanance.

i have looked though and a parent on £200 a week would pay £6 on 50/50 care if they had two children so its not loads.

Depending on amount of csa paid I would contribute towards uniform and trips as they are expensive.

Thanks for your reply
To clarify, I have the two children in the weekends and holidays. I contribute about £340 per month towards childcare. I have also recently got married again. With this background, should I also contribute towards uniform, trips etc. If so how much? What if it is difficult for me to afford ....