How to help 3yr old ds through divorce

(3 Posts)
Nomorepain Thu 15-Nov-12 10:18:18

Been split with h for 7 months now - he cheated when I was pregnant, left for 6 weeks, came back then left when dd was 5 weeks old.despite all he has done he is still horrible and abusive to me. Ds adores his dad. H really hasn't been around much for kids, turns up late if at all, doesn't play with him or plan fun stuff, puts everything else above him, mo interest in the serious part of being a parent etc but he does pretend to be the fun dad. Recently ds has been talking about his dad more. Trying to think of situations where we would be together. He says he misses him all the time. I try and play it down and say daddy is busy at work but it just isn't cutting it anymore and not sure it is right thing to say as he will feel that work should be put before him and it absolutely shouldn't. I heard ds say to his friend that his daddy isn't best friends with mummy anymore and it made my heart break. I can see that ds is trying to process the split but doesn't know how to and I want to help him but not sure what I should/ shouldn't say.

Please can you wise people offer some advice

Nomorepain Thu 15-Nov-12 18:58:59

Anyone?? He is constantly bringing daddy into discussions. Doesn't see a gret deal of him 6 hrs every other Saturday and 8hours every other Sunday. H does not call to speak to ds on phone or ask about children. Ds still thinks that his dad is amazing and constantly asking when e can see him. This week j have rang h to speak to ds an that seems to help a bit but I could really do with some advice on how you make it clear to a 3yr old that mummy and daddy are no longer together not will be ever again. Such a sad time I'm just glad that I am I a better place emotionally to deal with it now!

olgaga Mon 19-Nov-12 17:50:37

Hi, sorry I thought I replied to this the other day, maybe I forgot to do the final send.

I don't know if this will be any help to you - but there are publications here you can read online:
www.cafcass.gov.uk/publications.aspx

You might also find this helpful - they have an advice line:
familylives.org.uk/advice/family-relationships/divorce-and-separation

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