Such a long story

(2 Posts)
Purplestar85 Wed 31-Oct-12 23:06:33

I am a long time lurker and this is my very first post. I have a huge story that I really need to offload....
I was with ex H for 7 years. We got together, really because I was pregnant from our casual sex. I thought I loved him....I really did. We got married 15 months ago. I had become very close to a male friend (nothing physical) lots of texting, only as friends though. I regret marrying ex, I wasn't happy on my wedding day, I was scared didn't want to let anyone down and got through the whole day by shutting down and going into auto pilot. I began to realise I needed to leave him. It took me so long to build up the courage. He is 10 years older than me, and was controlling, never physically but emotionally, made me feel so down, always made comments about my weight (I'm a size 8/10) made snide comments about what I was wearing. I told him that it was over and he made me stay....I talked it over with a friend and she gave me the courage to make the break. I did it and walked out so he couldn't make me stay. Since then I have been so relieved. My male friend has shown me how much more there is to life. I deserve so much more than someone who constantly puts me down I dyed my hair recently and had my ears pierced and when ex saw me he said "what are of trying to do? Rebel and become a teenager again?" Uh no, I. Doing all the things I could never do with him!
We have a daughter who is almost 6, she spends half her time with each of us. She cries for him when she is with me and it breaks my heart he is buying her things, letting her stay up late....I am trying to keep things normal, like discipline and bedtime, but as daddy is being the fun one I feel like I am losing. I am 100% happy that've left, I'm a better person, I can be myself. But seeing DD like this is horrible. Whenever I try to talk to him about it he shouts at me, makes me feel worthless and tells me that it is all my fault

DizzyHoneyBee Thu 01-Nov-12 15:09:37

Hugs, it is no your fault, not at all. She's hurting and is trying to deal with it in the only way she can work out. The grass is always greener. She is probably crying for you sometimes when she is with him, not that he will be honest about that.
Can you do cheaper fun stuff together, making your own popcorn and having film nights, and stuff like that?
It's hard, and I do hope you find some ways to have some fun together.
Oh, and don't try to talk to him, it won't help, just let it go and deal with your DD yourself. sorry not to say much that is helpful, I just didn't want you not to have a reply.

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