We have been married 12 years, 2 sons, not perfect but i thought at least we plodded on. He was funny for a few weeks, very quiet and disengaged, then told me hed been having an affair, not a sexual one at that point ( he said).
He then left! I am on my own with my two DS, 10 and 11. I have lots of good friends but I feel so numb. I was so calm about him going, he is now living with her( shes left her husband) and although I am angry with him, I am strangely calm. Why?, and when am I going to fall apart?
A few days ago, two days after our 6th anniversary, I was shocked to find that my husband had "married" another woman. How? Well, there were pictures online of the wedding ceremony (google, facebook, photographer). Whether or not there was a marriage license is unknown to me right now except for the fact that he IS still legally married to me. Although many small things never did add up, I NEVER expected THIS. I found this last Thursday AT WORK, while I was looking up legitimate business online that involved the two of them, looking for a reference to something. At first, I felt numb and panicked. I feel disbelief and "how could he throw everything away". Mornings are the worst, when I first wake up and remember what has happened. Knowing that I know, he has the good sense not to come home from his last "business" trip. He completely denies having an affair, even in the face of overwhelming evidence. I agree that doing normal things is helpful.
Wow, it is amazing to read this thread, I guess after going thru something like this one feels alone in the world... It helps to know other women are strong and surviving!
After 19 years together and 2 kids, I found my hisband having an affair with his old, first love. We are separated now and I am doing pretty well, like the one post above there is a big element of relief since he has always been a demanding jerk and hard to be around. He acted as if the decision to separate was mine to make, at least when he was being nice. But I think he knew I would leave and he seems more relieved than anything. Even though I know I am making the right decision it hurts so badly that he is accepting it and not fighting in any way to keep me!!!
This thread is so old- so here is my question for you ladies- how are you NOW? It has only been 5 weeks since I found out- how can I stop the endless, repetitive, hurtful thoughts swirling in my brain? I know logically that my life is going to be fine, easier even, and I'll meet someone else, etc. But I still can't sleep for thinking the same things over, and over, and over..... Any suggestions??