Mediation or Colaborative Law?

[Shybairns]

Hi, does any one have an opinion on this? Ex h thinks it would be faster to do collaborative. Won't it cost a fortune though?

And does collaborative just turn into a slanging match between solicitors??

[Shybairns]

Bumping for the evening crowd

[Collaborate]

It is far from a slanging match. All meetings will involve the solicitors working together giving honest advice and helping you both work towards a constructive settlement. Yes it can be more expensive than mediation (but isn't always) but you do get quicker settlements and in mediation you're not necessarily working together as you are using collaborative.
Look on the resolution.org website under the alternatives to mediation tab.

[Fortyshadesofgreen]

My preference is mediation. I will say that I didn't do a collaborative 'session' but my exw's lawyer was one of the local leading lights of collaborative law and was horrendous. Sorry, for me a lawyer is a lawyer and that means you are employing someone to act in your interests. Stick one on each side and then you have a very different proposition than an independent mediator sat listening to both sides.

Only my 2 penny worth.

[Collaborate]

Mediators cannot give advice. To be fair to your ex's lawyer, they will be completely different when collaborating.

[Fortyshadesofgreen]

It depends what you need Collaborate - advice or an independent to 'mediate'.

Also to be fair to my ex's lawyer, she was the same when we dealt with a child contact issue, about 2 years after divorce. Bargained time with my son like it was part of a CD collection, up to and including at Court. She will of course be acting on client instructions, but if your point is valid, then where does the 'advice' part kick in. I didn't see any change in behaviour or attitude and there should surely have been a different approach when dealing with child contact than asset splitting, pensions issues, etc at the time of divorce.

Everybody will have had their experiences. I gave my 2 penny worth to the OP.

[Collaborate]

I agree that if you don't need advice then go ahead and mediate without it, although studies show that mediation is more likely to break down unless both are getting advice.

I can't really speak for individual cases, but you should look at the Resolution website and the code of conduct. If you think someone who is a member has breached the code then you could make a complaint to them. I agree that it is important to be even more careful to avoid fanning the flames of conflict when dealing with children issues, but that doesn't mean to say that you can get away with anything. It is important to remember however that if you're not doing it collaboratively then your whole approach will change. You always have a duty to give best advice to your client, whether you do it collaboratively or not, but doing it collaboratively means that you are open in what you do, and are not there to seek some particular advantage over the other party. You are there to find a solution that works for them both.