Renting and separation

(7 Posts)
Buzzer Mon 10-Sep-12 11:50:51

Hi - my first time on here, I have read a lot of the forums which have helped a lot but I don't think I'm going to find the answer to this particular dilemma that I have. In a nutshell, my husband and I are separating as he has realised that he is confused about his sexuality. After over two months of talking, we have reached the conclusion that we need to part, although we are on very good terms at the moment. Back at the beginning, this is why it was such a bombshell, as we appeared, to me, and to others, to have the kind of relationship that would never break up and I would still say he is my soulmate. But we realise to move forward, we should part company. We have three kids together. We also run a small business together (which we will continue to do), which has weathered the storm of two recessions, but at a cost - four years ago we sold our house to fund the business and hence are in rented property. Here comes my dilemma. He had found a room to move to, the plan was that he was leaving next week. However, over the last few weeks I have decided that I also want to move home, as the place we live in will be too big for one adult and the kids - I would prefer to find a smaller, cosier, cheaper home that is just mine and has no memories. So I would be looking for a place with a lower monthly rent. However, I have suddenly realised that if he moves out, when I then move, I will be doing it as a single parent, with a single income, and therefore this will mean that I will not necessarily be able to afford a place that fits my requirements. I do not want to go into council accommodation - plus the waiting lists are long where I live anyway. I would be able to afford the rent, as once I have moved, I will claim a proportion of housing benefit, however, I also think I probably don't want to start claiming housing benefit before I move as I will have to declare it to the agents of any new property I rent, and I think that some landlords - particularly those of the nicer properties - don't like to take people on housing benefit? Has anyone had any similar experiences or know how the system works? I don't want him to leave and then be trapped in this house without an option to move. Any help would be appreciated x

Movingout Mon 10-Sep-12 21:39:18

I have recently left my husband, it was very acrimonious and I had to leave the family home that we jointly own with my 18 and 12 year old sons. Although I work full time, my salary would never cover the cost of renting in West London. I delayed moving for a long time because I just didn't know how I could afford the rent. But it is possible, I found a flat through an estate agent, borrowed the deposit and then claimed housing benefit. You do not need to tell either the landlord or the agent that you will be applying for HB and it just gets paid into your own account every 4 weeks. Good luck I am sure it will all work out smile

Buzzer Thu 13-Sep-12 13:12:36

Thank you for responding to my post smile
My husband has now agreed to hold off moving out until I get myself sorted, unless he can find a place where he can unofficially move to, so hopefully problem solved. It means we have to drag our feet a little, but as we get on, it shouldn't be too much of a problem, hopefully. So would you not tell an agent on application that you are claiming housing benefit? I guess they don't need to know as it comes directly to you and then you pay the rent, is that right? Its nice that it seems to have worked out for you smile

Movingout Thu 13-Sep-12 21:48:27

You really don't need to tell them, there is even a section on the housing benefit application form that you can tic to say you don't want the landlord to know. The lady at the council assured me that this was common practice. Good luck with everything smile

Andorinha Tue 02-Oct-12 14:41:44

Hi, I am also new to both posting and to the issue of divorce. I am a mother to two children, one of them under 4. I have tried very hard to keep together as a family for the sake of them but recurrently get door mat treatment so after a loosing it and slapping my husband I simply got punched on the face. Luckily our children did not see this. We could all say how horrible this is and yes it really is. But it served to me to see clearly what he is capable of and to realise that this is really the end for him and for me. I want to exit this for the sake of us all but feel trapped as I have no proper income of my own since for the past three years I have been at home in order to take Care of kids as he could not do this apparently (not even pick upsold drop offs). Mind you after what has happened I am worried to leave him with them anyway. I am a qualified professional and would love to be able to apply for jobs, get one and move out. However 10:00 to 14:00 local jobs are rare and yet they really are the ones I should look foray the moment given that my children need me for taking care of them.
Any thoughts, perhaps from someone who has been through this and has been able top see the light at the other end of the tunnel, would be much appreciated. Thanks.

Collaborate Wed 03-Oct-12 15:23:21

You'd be better off starting a new thread. Your post has nothing much to do with the title of this thread. Use the link near the top of this page.

JessicaLuis232 Sat 03-Sep-16 08:25:03

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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