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(1 Post)
katierichards1988 Sat 31-Aug-13 22:14:28

Hi there,
I am a little nervous as this is my 1st time on mums net. I was made aware of mums net by my care worker.
My background is very long but the clip note version is basically this,
I had my beautiful daughter at the age of 21. I had always felt not right and was eventually diagnosed with bi-polar after a very bad nervous break down. I had jus got it under some control and had returned back to work.
Last October (2012) I had chronic back pain. I kept going back and forth Drs and they put it down to muscular issues. On boxing day I woke up in agony. I had to be rushed to hospital and was admited to have emergency sugery on my spine. I have basically been left with no feeling in my left leg, chronic pain in my right, back pain that seems to be the whole of my back and I have to self catheterise due to nerve damage to my bowel and bladder.
I try to keep my spirits up even though I feel I have lost the ability to do anything and feel utterly useless. My partner has had to give up a well paid job to become my full time carer and it has put major pressure on our relationship as he hates seein me in pain and we feel like we arent a couple anymore. But the worse by far is the never ending guilt I feel as a Mum. I use to do everything with my daughter and we never stopped. I miss our time and feel like I am missing out on her life. My medication knocks me about something rotten and I am in and out of hospital anf have many different health professionals come into my home on a weekly basis. I feel guilty that I feel like that my child is having her Mum taken away from her and yes I will be honest I am angry and can't accept I am now disabled when it use to be me looking after everyone is this normal?

Sorry for the rambling guys.

Thanks x confused

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