Mumsnetters aren't necessarily qualified to help with medical problems. If you have any serious concerns, we would urge you to consult your GP.

Can a severe disabled person get custody of child?

(7 Posts)
qzk Fri 28-Sep-12 21:22:13

Need some advice on my personal circumstances. Hope someone can either help me, or put me in touch with someone who could.

I have a severe disability whereby I require carers to assist me in and out of bed. Also help me with washing, dressing etc. I have three carers right now, each helping me out at different times of the day. I require assistance in morning, teatime and evenings. During all other times I am either in my chair able to do my own stuff or out and about - dropping/fetchng my 4 year old from school. I also do all the shopping and general finances of the house.

My wife, who is able bodied and last week we had our 10th wedding anniversary, spends most of her time indoors - watching tv or asleep. She does however assist to our daughter's physical needs - which are getting less as she begins to grow older. Mentally, our daughter comes to me - for homework, reading, playing etc. My wife also helps me out when my carers are not around.

Now you would think my life is fine and I should be happy. Well, that is what I thought - until I started getting thoughts of the mrs having an affair. You see, oce a year she travels overseas - with our daughter - on the pretence of visiting her parents. I never made much of this. She did stay upto 3 months at a time though.

So I decided to record her doing stuff during the day when I'm out. To my shock I have learned that she is having an affair. With a man overseas - and it has been going on for years - before she married me. But now its serious. I wont go into the details - just say that she is planning to leave me and take our daughter. She has some stuff to sort out after which she will do this.

I have tried going to loads of lawyers but all say that if she does leave me - I can not get custody of our daughter. Because I am disabled and require care myself. My only option is to wait until she is old enough to look after own self - then I have a better chance.

So now I cant risk confronting the mrs. For fear that she will leave me immediately and I loose my daughter. Especially as it will be overseas that she goes. If I wait, then I risk the mrs just upping and leaving one night. Plus I'm finding it hard to live with the mrs having an affair.

janie2 Fri 28-Sep-12 22:06:49

I don't want to leave you sitting with no replies. I have no idea about the way these things are decided but I'd say the most important thing is what is right for the child. Even if your Mrs got custody, a court may not allow her to leave the country without your consent due to the relationship the child has with you.
I would have thought the emotional support your child gets from you would be taken into consideration even though you have your own physical needs.
Good Luck!

MonthlyChange Sat 29-Sep-12 13:10:40

Bump for you

NoHaudinMaWheest Tue 02-Oct-12 16:50:59

Try Disabled Parents Network helpline number 0300 3300 639. I know they have in the past helped severely disabled parents with custody issues though not in exactly your circumstances.

Andreadl Wed 03-Oct-12 13:30:56

I would say to speak to a solicitor as soon as possible to see if you can have a stop put on your little ones passport if you already have proof that your wife is planning to take her away.
I do know that while the main 'care provider' when you split can move anywhere in the UK, but the rules are different if they want to go abroad.

Good luck.

ordinaryprincess Sat 13-Oct-12 17:22:04

Perhaps I'm wrong, but I would have thought your problem will be that the courts are weighted in favour of the mother in any case?

ordinaryprincess Sat 13-Oct-12 17:22:53

Also, why don't you repost this under a different heading in 'am i being unreasonable?'. You're more likely to come across someone with legal knowledge because there's more traffic there.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now