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visual impaired?(43 Posts)
any other paretns or parents to be with a visual impairement? would love to chat to others in a similar situation.
how frustrating - I know (from experience) how dispiriting it is to have a ridiculously long and difficult public transport journey to cover a really short car journey. Does your council offer any disability transport?
I'm not aware of any and to be honest I'd feel a fraud it I tried to access it. I can use busses. It's just a royal pain in the bottom. (and I'm used to being chauffeured around ) I get hight rate mobility so that in theory covers taxis for the days I (or dd) can't cope with the bus or the places we need to go which aren't on a bus route (like her dancing class)
Lola It is hard to have full sight then lose it. But I suppose as I can't get it back I need to move on.
CAn I ask how do you manage to take your DD out? I have not left the house alone for 2.6years through my vision as I struggle with the roads etc and as DD is too young to know about road safety it is safer to stay in which I hate.
I'm pleased I have found this thread as it seems you all lead normal lives. I would love to be able to go out with DD and not Dp
even though he is great, I had to quit work but mainly through all of the admissions to hospital through my brain disorder.
It's a bit different for me as I've always had rubbish sight and am fairly confident about being out on my own. I lost a lot of confidence once I had dd though. I was terrified about crossing roads and have only started using a symbol cane since I had to take her out. When I first had her I lived in London, 200 miles from family and friends with dc's and DH worked long hours. I HAD to do things on my own. But we moved up north while she was a baby and I have support now. I still sometimes carry dd across roads so I can really concentrate on the traffic and run if I think I need to. She's 6 so I really have to stop doing this! (she's going to get eaten alive if the girls in her class see us)
But if I'm going out with dd on my own I will only go to places I know really well. Particularly I have to know where the nearest toilet is at any given moment as dd only ever gives me 30 seconds notice!
If its a busy place dd HAS to hold my hand all the time. Otherwise I can't concentrate on finding my way around because I'm worried about where she is. We had a phase where this was a problem (and suspect we are heading for another one) but that's the condition of us being out together and if she won't I call a taxi and we go home.
I had some mobility training when I moved to help me get to know my new area and routes that I could take a buggy down safely. (but until dd was 3 I mainly used a selection of slings)
Now I only really panic if I have to take one of dd's friends anywhere, especially if I have to cross a road, the responsibility of keeping your own child safe is pretty daunting but it's nothing compared to having responsibility for someone else's!
I'm glad this thread is helping you. I talked to wannabe when I was either pregnant or dd was tiny, can't remember, but i remember thinking how reassuring it was that she was coping so well.
Do you all feel you are stricter with your child(ren) because of your visual impairment?
I am very strict with mine about road safety. Went to the park yesterday - I had buggy with baby, and walked on the edge of the pavemnt nearest the road, with DS1 (age 4) on his scooter nearest the wall, and DS2 (age 3) on his scooter sandwiched between us.
They have to only scoot at walking speed (no getting ahead of me) and I take the scooter away if they don't do this.
Sometimes I feel a bit mean at being so strict. But actually, I don't understand why parents with perfect sight let their small children scoot on ahead. Lots of driveways crossing the pavement - not every driver is looking out for small scooter-riders.
Oh yes. I couldn't cope with taking dd out on her scooter! It's for garden use only. (although she is also VI so she needs extra supervision
I must look like a complete helicopter parent to everyone. I'm always hovering behind her. (so I don't lose her!). And she has to stick to me like glue when we are out or I feet shouty and take her home. But it's that or not go out as far as I am concerned
Btw, I'm having an ongoing row with my parents (who do a huge whack of childcare) about whether it is reasonable to let dd ride a bike on the road. They say because they let me I should let her but there is no way! She has no awareness of what's around her and the traffic situation had changed significantly since I was young. And I had many many MANY crashes and looking back its amazing I wasn't seriously hurt!
They say I am independent because I was expected to function without help as a child. But I had a very unhappy childhood because of that. The eye condition I have runs in the family but I have much worse sight than the rest of them but their attitude was that I'd my mum could do it I should be able to do it. Dd's sight is better than mine and DM accuses me of not giving her enough freedom.
Sorry for rant
Much harder if your DD is visually impaired as well, Lola, I agree.
YY to feeling like a helicopter parent in certain situations. I find it difficult to chat to other parents in playgrounds etc., as I need all my attention on keeping track of my DCs. I tend to dress them in similar clothes and bright colours to help with this.
While your DD is young, it is your (and your DP's) decision what she should/shouldn't be allowed to do, and your parents shouldn't be pushing you to allow things you feel are unsafe. You are in the best place to judge. I sometimes have the opposite problem - my DM (who has normal sight) sometimes wants me NOT to do things which she thinks are unsafe. She doesn't realise that I am making judgements about what is and is not safe every second of every day, and that I'm best placed to decide this. It is all done with the best possible intentions though - as with your parents by the sound of it. What does your DP think?
DH keeps his head down
I don't think he's ever really come to terms with dd having the family eye condition (or ASD) and he was brought up in a family where DC weren't valued until they could bring in a wage
What is your eye condition, Lola (if you don't mind me asking)?
It's complicated and it's very rare so i'm worried it would identify me very easily If I named the syndrome (and I'm very lazy about thinking up new usernames) but our common symptoms are ptosis (drooping of eyelids, nystagmus like uncontrolled eye movement and what our brains seem to do is ignore the input from one of our eyes (so we have monocular vision, and a very limited field of vision, but we found out last night dd can see 3d with 3d tv's which I can't! ) I was properly messed about with by the doctors when I was a kid and although I can't prove anything I don't think it's a coincidence I'm registered blind when my family members who didn't have aggressive surgical intervention aren't.
Fair enough Lola. Sorry about your experience with doctors, that sounds horrible.
Just having to do headlice combing with DC1 who has started school. Have deputed DH to do it, as I 'm not sure I'd see the lice. What do you all do about this?
Smother her in chemicals every time she starts scratching her head . She has a complete melt down (ASD sensory issues about anything 'on' her) but I can't see them, nor can my mum and DH is always working/studying/volunteering so he's never there to help.
I'm a bit worried this week as my head is itching but I don't know if it is because of something real or paranoia!
I have just had a separate thread in chat about headlice! Everyone there recommended the NittyGritty comb so I have bought one of those. I think I am going to do a preventative weekly comb of everyone!
(and yes, it is making me itchy thinking about it too...)
Thanks for the tip! Do you need to be able to see the lice to use the comb??
I don't think you need to be able to see the lice to use the comb (i.e. it will get them out regardless, and you can just section the hair and do it methodically) - but you might not know if anything has come out. I don't know if I would be able to see them or not (we haven't actually got them yet). You are supposed to wipe the comb on tissue after every stroke. Would your DD be able to see/tell you if anything had come out? I think I am going to have to start doing it myself, as DH is not actually doing it...
On advice from a teacher at school, I have also bought the Vosene spray-on, leave-in conditioner with tea-tree lice repellent. Worth a try!
I use a shampoo that is supposed to repel lice. No idea if it works or not though. I do feel that we are doing the Full Marks treatment less but that could just be that she shampoo makes me more relaxed about treating her.
Dd probably won't be able to see the lice either.... But I will look out for comb anyway.
If any of you have kids of school age, how do you ensure you're kept up to date with all the bumf that comes back from the school? I have a registered blind friend who has terrible trouble keeping up with costume days, no-uniform days, outings etc. Obviously she can't use Parentmail because she can't see to use it (and she's not very tech-savvy anyway) so she has to rely on a husband who works irregular hours, or kids (one with mild SN, the other just a bit too young to be reliable) or friends/neighbours who may or may not be there.
The office has been supremely unhelpful to her (they can't ring up about everything, they couldn't possibly print the letters off in large print, hasn't she got friends who'll let her know...) but I'm sure there's something legal about her needing all this stuff in a format she can use. What would you advise?
Personally I find it a nightmare and I can usually read normal print (If I can find the news letters) missed non uniform day a few weeks ago, dd was mortified school are extremely unhelpful. They print everything as small as possible to save paper. My childminder is usually pretty good at telling me what's going on (but it's obviously not a foolproof system)
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